Ah yes, the wonderful world of handheld gaming. Though we’ve seen some pretty good handhelds come out in the past (Sega GameGear and Nintendo DS), for the most part they’ve just been extremely disappointing. Modojo’s top 10 list of handheld failures lets gamers reminisce on how much money they threw down the drain over “promising” portables. I myself took a blow when I purchased a Sony PSP. It wasn’t all bad though, I did have my fun with Burnout Revenge for a while, that was until I decided to give the Nintendo DS a chance. Sometimes, I still find myself wishing I had a Sega GameGear, maybe I should check out that Caleco portable sometime soon.
10. Atari Lynx
The Atari Lynx, released in 1989, featured a 16-bit gaming and a 4096 hue color palette. Not only was the Lynx huge, but it also drained batteries and ran for $190. As soon as it was released, it was marketed by Game Boy, which quickly pwned the Atari Lynx into the number 10 slot for handheld failure.
9. Sega Nomad
The Sega Nomad offered gamers the ability to play Sega Genesis games on the go, and was fairly popular when it first released. Too bad it didn’t stick around. I remember wanting one when I was younger, but by the time I had saved up enough money to own one, it had disappeared. Where did it go? Apparently to the number 9 slot of worst handhelds.
8. Nintendo Virtual Boy
The Nintendo Virtual boy featured a headpiece a user would have to place over their skull, a controller and a world of red. That’s right, every game displayed in red. Sorry Nintendo, but Virtual Boy turned out to be virtual boring.
7. Game Boy Advance 1.0
In all honesty, the Nintendo Game Boy Advance wasn’t that bad of a handheld. Sure it had horrible battery life and one of the worst handheld screens ever (you couldn’t play in the Sun), but it still featured something most handhelds don’t: Fun factor. Game Boy Advance still gets number 7 on the list for the simple fact that we aren’t vampires.
6. Nokia N-Gage
Like the crew over at Modojo, I can’t figure out who would want to buy the Nokia N-Gage either. This thing was huge, expensive and didn’t offer many games, and the games it did offer sucked anyway. For anyone who actually purchased the Nokia N-Gage, I’m sorry to say, but this wanna-be flashy and expensive product will never get you laid. Ever.
5. Bandai WonderSwan
Bandai, action-satisfaction. Not.
4. Sony PSP
Here’s one of the not so smart decisions I made when PSP came out: I purchased it. The PSP features a flashy screen, great design and could play UMDs, Sony’s 3rd format failure. The Sony PSP promised gamers a handheld experience like they had never seen, too bad that experience came in the form of playing ports from the PlayStation 2 that sucked. Yes, the PSP successfully made the great Metal Gear Solid into a card game. And really, Modojo hits it right on the dot, where the hell is Final Fantasy 7!?
3. Tiger Game.com
Tiger Game.com featured PDA functionality, a touch-screen and modem support. Yes, Tiger Game.com had some good ideas but just couldn’t get the right support for their product. Good thing Nintendo took all those ideas to a whole new level, and you know, included a color screen instead of having a black-and-white interface like the Tiger Game.com.
2. Game Boy Micro
Nintendo’s Game Boy Micro was a bad idea right from the beginning. The features were out dated by the time the product was released, and really didn’t have anything new to add to the already out Game Boy handheld. Nintendo also released a pink version with a Pokemon on it. For some reason or another, America just didn’t catch on…
1. Gizmondo
Taking the spot for the worst handheld failure in gaming history is the Gizmondo. The Gizmondo combined bad marketing, even worse product support and awful pricing into one big ball of crap. Like the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, the Gizmondo came out in two different versions. The lower end version, which forced users to watch ads, ran for a massive $229. The higher end version, which was ad free, ran for a even bigger $400! The console didn’t last long (obviously), and only released 8 games in the US, all of which were no-name games like Toy Golf and Sticky Balls. This thing is so bad that I kind of wish I had one on the shelf, just to say that I own a rare piece of video game history.
Top 10 Worst Gaming Handhelds [modojo]
Your a fag. This list is rediculous. I’ll forgive you since this is just YOUR opinion. I doubt many others will agree with you.
You forgot to add that the previous CEO of Gizmondo hated himself so much for releasing that pile of crap that he smashed his Enzo Ferarri in half on PCH in Malibu earlier this year.
Oh yea, what an idiot. But with as much hype as they put into their handheld before it was even released, they were doomed even before the ship left the harbor.
Nice and cool handheld games
You must be kidding…
PSP is a really great handheld..
Also the first gameboy..
You are not serious with this article..
You are entitled to your opinion, but you must be smoking crack extra early today or you were up too late partying last night that it has affected your judgement. ‘Cmon VirtualBoy was a great portable ( even without the retinal burn in) – That’s it no soup for you.
I actually own most of these. So here’s my two cents on a few of them:
- The Lynx is *easily* the better system than the GameGear, mainly due to the GameGear’s incredibly bad screen. Sonic is virtually unplayable on the GameGear due to its blurryness, while the Lynx has a pretty crips screen and some interesting pseudo-3D games.
- The virtual boy is not a portable system. I own two of them, they’re still great novelties, and most people like playing with them. Sure, they destroy your eyes, but at least you’re having fun doing it.
- The WonderSwan is actually an awesome system. Dunno why it’s on the list.
- The Micro is easily the portable console I play the most – simply because it’s always in my jacket pocket. It’s so small that I don’t even notice it. It’s way smaller than my cell. It’s like 1/50th of the PSP. In my opinion, this is one of the best portable consoles ever released.
Reading through the list, I think the writer has never played most of these consoles. I mean…
>Tiger Game.com had some good ideas
>but just couldn’t get the right support
>for their product.
That must be a joke. The console was *broken.* It’s too slow for all except the most basic games, and the screen is so blurry that no game with any sort of action is even remotely playable.
>This thing was huge, expensive and
>didn’t offer many games, and the
>games it did offer sucked anyway.
That’s pure bs. The image is *not* of the N-Gage, but of the N-Gage QD (I think that’s what it’s called). This is *not* a huge console. It’s pretty small. And it has about a dozen awesome games, the canonical example being Pathway to Glory – one of the best portable tactics games, rivalling the likes of Advance Wars.
ok, putting nomad, the psp and the advance in the list it´s really a strech, and the list don´t really define where it stands: failure to selll or failure as a hardware and software that sucked?
i think you were going for the first, but you really got wandering..
if you wanted to list failure to sell then you must replace game gear with the nomad, neo geo pocket for the advance, gpx1 for the psp.
The nomad,neo geo pocket(that sported the best stickpad ever) and a not listed device called the turbo express from turbografx we without a doubt the best hardware-sofware combination that never sold right..
The nomad was able to let you litsen to radio am/fm and tv if you had the adapater, and let you playn not only genesis/megadrive games, but sega master system and game gear with an adapter too…
The turboexpress had a full and crisp color tv with radio, and was able to play turbograf games, and had some of the strangest peripherials ever.
and the neo geo pocket had one of the best classic control schemes ever..
and yeah LKM, it seems he had never played with the handhelds.. i mean even the pics are wrong, that is not the n-gage 1 and it should be stated that n-gage had 3 versions, and the main reason it failed miserable it´s becuase the hardware of the n-gage one was broken beyond belief and was very defective, this costed over 200 million dollars to nokia if i recall.
if the n-gage would have been something even close to a neo-geo pocket, or gameboy micro in a cellphone it would have thrived, they also commited a very obvious mistake, the n-gage locked the phone, if they had made the games while allowing a upggrade java games firmware, it would have not flopped.
The nomad also has two version of it´s hardware, the second one was the one abel to run best the adpaters i mentioned, it even had a cartridge to let you play in your tv.. same goes for turboexpress.
You didnt mention the turbo express.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TurboExpress
why did you put all the best hand helds into the worst handhelds list,
the one thing i agree with you is the virtual boy, I remember being so disapointed with it, i tryed to take it back to the store, they refused, then the next day, i tried again.
i know everyone has their own oppinions, but you cant put the psp on the list, or the gameboy, or the nomad.
AND DEFINATELY NOT THE GIZMONDO, the gizmondo was, and is the best hand held ever created, and people probably hating me for saying that.
the gizmondo had gps, could play movies, music, and had the best games on any handhel, no, on any console! for one example, trailblazer, and the best example; CATAPULT
ok now you know my opinion
Okay… The Gizmondo??? Seriously… You provide absolutely no information on WHY most of these handhelds were garbage.
Bad marketing has absolutely nothing to do with the hardware of the Gizmondo, and the games it plays. Product support also has nothing to do with the Gizmondo. And pricing “was” a factor, but not anymore, since I got my Gizmondo for $75. Dead fucking serious. And you call it a ball of bull crap, yet didn’t make a single statement on the games, hardware, or anything else.
It is technically superior than the DS, which makes it “the second most powerful portable gaming console of all time.” How the fuck could the Gizmondo be the second most powerful portable gaming console of all time, yet still be the worst portable gaming console of all time? I know that the PSP is a little more powerful than the Gizmondo, but the PSP doesn’t have GPS, nor does it have a built in camera.
the list sucks.. really off based
Yeah I have to agree with pretty much everyone here especially Alexander about the Gizmondo.
I actually own one, and while it didn’t have the full support of major gaming companies, what it could do was pretty great.
Music, Movies, Text Messaging, Camera (Photos), Sat Nav (actually good Sat Nav – I still use it in my car), and gaming all in one.
Admittedly the camera function wasn’t all that great – better off with a proper digital camera. And the text messaging function was kind of pointless if you ask me.
But the rest of it was all good. Annoyingly I only ever got one game, Trail Blazer, but it turned out to be one of the most addictive handheld games I have played in years, and it looked really good (PSP quality).
I wouldn’t say it is the best handheld ever or anything, but there are certainly many many more choices which I would put first as being the worst handheld.
Like where is the Barcode Battler?? That was just a piece of shite.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barcode_Battler
Also interesting that you bring up the N-Gage. Perhaps not the best handheld ever, but you missed out the fact that it was a mobile phone that could play games.
Nokia designed it to be a phone (with all the functions) but one that was able to play proper 3D games, not the normal crappy Java games people were playing on other phones.
Also what was wrong with the Nomad? You don’t actually give any reason – except for that you took ages to save up to buy one.
As it was only available in the US, I have never actually been able to play with one, but I heard it was actually a pretty good system.
And the Atari Lynx too. Again not the best handheld – but there are far more deserving handhelds which should be put into this list.
It seems to me that you have picked out a list of handhelds which people know about, and didn’t do as well as the Gameboy. when there’s probably a whole list of other handhelds that a lot of people won’t have heard of – because they genuinely were crap.
VB is not a handheld. What was wrong with GBA and PSP? My top 3:3.N-Gage:You have to take out the battery to change games. 2.Gizmondo:I know its multimedia but THE GAMES SUCK. 1.R-Zone:Games suck and it DESTROYS YOUR EYES MWAHAHAHAHAHAH
also, why are Lynx, Wonderswan, and GB Micro on here? even game.com was alright.
What? PSP is a failure? You are way offleague my friend.. I think it is one of the best handhelds that ever came out.. I enjoy spending hours togther with my PSP.. True could do in area of ergonomics. I am with you on ngage though, wasted investment
Are you SERIOUS. It’s bad enough your article is full of spelling errors, but you also make yourself look like a horse’s ass by making it seem like you haven’t even played the systems.
You should be fired, beat with a bat, and poked to death with sticks for your horrid retardation in choices. What the hell is wrong with your mind?