The news that the mega-cheap Burger King-sponsored 360 games just matched the sales mega-seller Gears of War brought up memories of marketing-disguised-as-games of years past.
In this special X-Mas story, we’ll take a look at a pair of my favorite ghosts of agenda-filled games for ye olde NES, so you can get searching on eBay now.
Click the jump to see them…
M.C. Kids
This McDonald’s-sponsered Super Mario Bros was about as shameless as it gets. You take charge of a pair of racially-mixed (M.C.) kids that must dig deep into the magical world of McDonald’s in order to retriever Ronald’s “magical bag,” which was stolen by that blasted Hamburglar. That damn Humburglar! Always Hamburgling around. The scary thing about this game, which I remember on NES but was also available on a few other platforms, is that it was actually pretty fun. You collected little golden arches while the game fed you subliminal messages about the wonders of Trans Fat-infused potato slabs. My favorite part, of course, was a trait that was incredibly typical of the time: Player 1 was a little white kid, and Player 2 was black. I guess it is too much to ask Mickey-D’s to rock the boat and make Player 1 black. It would be years before the video game civil rights movement would catch up.
Bible Adventures
You know that totally blazing sun-shaped “NES Seal of Approval” that likely every one of your cartridges had? Yeah, this game didn’t need it. A couple other small-time video game shops tried to push unlicensed cartridges on shelves, but were usually soon shut down by Big Nintendo. Not Bible Aventures manufacturer Wisdom Tree (such a fitting name.) Nintendo was so scared of pissing off Big Religion (even back in 1991 when this came out) that they turned the other cheek. In exchange, the couple parents who bought this for their kids because it seemed like a more wholesome choice than oh-so-violent Metroid were probably never forgiven by their kids. Essentially a series of mini-games, this game was worse than sitting through church. Again, I revert to Wikipedia for a full description of the games:
* In Noah’s Ark, the player must round up animals and food — sometimes by knocking animals out or catching fruit thrown by a monkey — and carry them onto the Ark. Noah’s health is recharged when the player reads Bible verses that are scattered around the four levels.
* In Baby Moses, the player controls Jochebed, Moses’ mother as she tries to save her son from the Pharaoh’s decree that all male Hebrew children be killed. In order to do this, the player carries Moses from one end of the level to the other, in a manner quite similar to the way in which characters in Super Mario Bros. 2 carry vegetables. Moses can be thrown around without harming him, but enemies cannot be harmed in any way. If the player completes the level without Moses, the game says “Good Work, But you forgot Baby Moses.” and the level must be restarted.
*In David and Goliath, the player starts out controlling David as he herds sheep and avoids predators such as lions and bears. The player then obtains a sling and goes on to dodge guards, scorpions, and stones before he fights Goliath’s shieldbearer and ultimately Goliath himself, whom the player must strike once in the head to defeat.
That’s entertainment.
I think the low price and quality of the Burger King games (from what I see on TV) is the reason for their success. I don’t remember the games you mention at all and I was the biggest game fanatic out there when I was younger bordering on addiction ;-)
One game I do remember very well was the “making burgers” game, I don’t remember the title, layout was sort of like Donkey Kong and you walked up and down “creating” a burger whose parts fell once you crossed them, you had creatures like pickles etc which you got extra points for “squishing” into the burger as the components fell to the bottom.
I think if Burger King came out with an updated version of this to play on PC, then I would probably get it… I wonder how long it will be before they realize there are a heck of a lot more people with PCs capable of playing video games then XBox or if the whole reason behind the XBox only games is because Microsoft is paying for the commercials (co-branding).
Jon
Ive had the misfortune of playing both of these games mentioned. The MC Kids was actually sorta entertaining, but the bible game was just plain bad. If I remember, the cartridge was a sinister black, a stark contrast from my golden zelda cartridge. It got minimal play at best. If your gonna market with your games at least make them entertaining.
Mcdonalds 1: religion 0
bpm2000… some would argue that McDonalds is a religion… it’s the only way I can explain why people eat there… I figure eating the unedible is a rite of passage to a coronary ;-)
Jon
I remember both of the games from the original NES. I rented MC Kids..and I played the Bible Adventures on an emulator. MC Kids was pretty good actually for the time. There was also Yo Noid! (Domino’s Pizza) and Spot (7 Up)…can’t forget about those gems.
The “making the burgers” game you speak of is Burgertime. That was actually a pretty successful arcade game. I think Data East made it…of course, they also made Bad Dudes.
I remember Chex Quest back in the mid 90s. It was the first video game that I really got into as a kid; I would play it all the time.
Don’t forget the grandfather of all marketing video games: “Chase the Chuckwagon” for the Atari 2600…Put out by Purina (makers of Dog Chow), it has become one of the hottest collector carts for the ol’ VCS.
I’m tempted to pick up the burger king games but I’ve heard mixed reactions. I guess you can’t go wrong though with such a low price tag.
I don’t remember any of the games you mentioned but I was a little tyke at the time. I probably had them, just don’t remember. Time to go digging though the attic.
Ah, as a Christian, I think I’d have to agree that religion and gaming systems perhaps should NOT meet in the middle. Funny, though, that Big Nintendo left them alone…. :)