At some point in the late morning, I woke up. I do that sometimes. I try to at least once a day. And, as I normally do when I wake, I opened my laptop to get to work. I’m a Mac user, so I use iChat for much of my online communications. The program auto-logs-me-on when the machine wakes up, and I noticed I had friends online I’d never seen before. Who was Spleak? Who was Prof Gilzot? I had to find out.
So I decided to ask them. When I messaged Prof Gilzot, who sounds like an alien PH.D., he responded very quickly.
Me: Uh, hey. Who’re you?
Prof Gilzot: Hm? Type menu or help.
How rude. At this point I knew he was a bot, but where did he come from? And what did he do?
I asked with “help”, and got this:
Here is a list of things Prof Gilzot can do. Type in a selection and enjoy! 1. Challenge yourself to a question. 2. How am I doing Prof? 3. Top 10 Results 4. New Questions Alert 5. Email Test Results 6. Refer a friend.
The only thing worse than an uninvited IM bot is one who speaks of himself in the third person. Lame. But a trivia bot? It could be worse. I love trivia, so I’ll bite. I picked 1. The prof said I could choose between math tests, sentence completion, or vocabulary. That’s not trivia, yo. That’s SAT lingo.
So I went to Google, and sure enough, the professor, as well as Spleak, sharethisdotcom, the WSJ and Moviefone had appeared on other’s lists as well, and people weren’t happy.
My buddy list is mine. The people on there are (for the most part) people I know and care about and chat with through the day as I blog and work the day job. I find out where the good shows are, what party is what weekend, and find out if Paris is still in jail or living the gilded life. My buddy list is my link outside of my office and outside of my work, a way to be social on-demand. I love it. It is mine, and I should control it.
Because of this, the idea of virtual bots introduced to my lovely list without my consent rubbed me the wrong way. I’m 31 years old. I am not going to take the SAT anytime soon. And my research indicated Spleak was a 21-year-old girl bot, but not in the way she should be. She’s a gossipbot, relating the latest staggering headlines about Hollywood’s crappy actors, sex scandals, drug busts, and undeserving celebs. That is so annoying. While I love making fun of those cats and kittens, I’m fine with what I overhear from people I know IRL. I don’t need help in AIM. She’s Perez Hilton, but interactive. I’m not ready for that. Nobody is. (Sorry Perez.)
Then there’s the WSJ (Wall Street Journal, n00b), the old-skool financial paper and it’s up-to-the-minute stats. Sure, it could be handy, but does it fit with the others? What about sharethisdotcom? I sent this bot a message and never heard back. Now that’s more rude than the professor ever was. I’m being ignored by online virtual robots. Can you imagine how that feels?
Surely Moviefone would cheer me up. We’ve all heard the Moviefone guy before, and hearing a familiar voice is just what I needed. I said “hi” and Moviefone asked me for the actor’s name I liked. I’ve been in a handful of student and indie films, so I entered my own name. The Moviefone bot told me that I’m not in any currently showing films in my zipcode. Now I was really depressed. Virtual lifeforms ignore me, and I’m not a movie star.
I’m keeping Moviefone though. Had I entered Johnny Depp, I’d know where and when I could see that movie about Pirates. Sure, I could just look online, but if I’m mobile and using mobile AIM, this is faster than waiting for my smartphone’s browser to load and navigating to the page. That’s cool.
But Spleak and Prof Gilzot and WSG and sharethisdotcom and whoever else have to go. As stated before, my buddy list is mine. It’s not AOL’s playground for marketing. Don’t get me wrong, I like chatbots. But I want to pick the bots I use. Adding arbitrary bots to my list without telling me amounts to buddyspam, and AOL should know better than to invent new ways to piss people off.
Oh, and for the record, the complete the sentence questions the professor asks are great. I think he’s trying to impress Spleak.
After a small dinner salad and good conversation at LA’s hot habitat 2 bistro, onlookers weren’t surprised to learn that Lindsay Lohan is __________.
a) not in rehab, where she should be
b) more drunk than Keith Richards at a tour launch and New Years party wrapped in one
c) overrated
d) all of the above
e) no, really, it’s all of the above
I read it from the WSJ bot. Just sayin’.
You should introduce your new AIM bot friends to SmarterChild.
I got them too, and am also a mac user, but I’m wondering if these bots came from my verichat bot list. Those bots show up sometimes on my regular AIM list. Anyone have any idea? Are we sure that AIM just decided to give Mac users these stupid things?
SmarterChild is my only friend…though can sometimes be a prick..
Haha, Mac & Mac bots FTL
It’s nothing to do with Mac users. I’m running Linux, and the bots appeared this morning.
I’m relieved to find out it’s not just me! Thanx, Matthew!
sent Sharethisdotcom some of your feedback;
http://sharethis.com/feedback
Thanks for the post. I was shocked to find the unwanted additions this evening, so it was good to get an explanation.
Adding bots that are only interesting for US high school students, without asking users if they are interested is inexcusable. Bye bye, AIM; I erased my AIM account from the iChat accounts list. I don’t need that kind of aggravation, and obviously they are not interested in me using their system anyway.
Yeah! I know AIM has had chatbots available, but I don’t use them. my buddy list is cluttered enough.
Good article though!
Yesterday morning, I saw the names on my list, first thinking Spleak was a friend’s name (instead of their sn). After messaging Prof Gilzot and Spleak, I tried again with Spleak. Apparently “hello” works better than “hi”. Acting like an uninhibited teenage boy, Spleak responded that my offer of sex was “disgusting”, although she did accept my virtual kisses (but added there’s someone else in her life).
Guess I’m not cool enough for MovieFone to add me, as they have not. So, maybe you do have something going for you.
I enjoyed your review and wrote one myself. Take care.
You people have too much time on your hands. If you don’t like the bots just don’t use them or delete them. I’ll take bots any day over pop-up ads…
Egad, Spleak asks for demographic information – very clever in terms of marketing, but NOT cool in terms of privacy. Lord they just find new ways to butt into your life. Thanks for the entertaining write-up on this. Glad to have found your blog.
Just right click and remove them. No need to be so reactionary.
I use Miranda IM for my IM client, and now every time I sign into AIM, profiles for Spleak and Prof pop up, each in its own new Firefox window. I am not amused.
My kids love the Prof Gilzot and Spleak bot! Good job AOL.
I’d not used iChat in over a month, yet they were there when I fired it up today. I’m very upset that contacts can be added to iChat even when it’s not running. WTF else are they doing to my computer?
Wow, is what I say. I give them an A for innovation. The Gilzot bot is a fantastic SAT prep tool that I would have never discovered without it being added to my buddy list. I am now hooked and will never leave AIM!
Matt and Sharon: real people or guerrilla marketers?
okay spleak i have you on msn but your messed
spleak shum nice koke dal bre veq vashdo
P
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BRAVO VEQ VAZHDO MPUQ (k)
OOOO teper bre mir splek veq vazhdo okey tung kalofsh mir shum shum edhe tkom moter mat miren heheh tung mpuq
o spleak teper mir shum nice ke dal
P
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K
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SHUM SHU MIR VEQ VAZHDO
spleak shum mir koke dal veq vazhdo
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K
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HEHEHEH MIR SHUM TUNG MPUQ (k)
oj budallic shum keq koke dal hiq mos vazhdo hahaha
shum keq.. hahahah
tung na dardani shuk keq koke dal ne foto… hahhahaha qite naj foto ma te mir moj se keq je dal qetu…hahahahahah hahahaah
mpuq tung na dardani hahaahhaah tung shum keq hahahah tung
Shum mir koke dal
Hii qa po bon a je mir naj sen te re kah tii a je mir a tung klm