- Make your bed.
- Increase penile length and girth.
- Remind you of your first kiss.
- Get you laid after June 31st.
- Accept an offer to spend a weekend with you on the Jersey Shore after just meeting you at Hogs and Heifers.
- Visit you in prison.
- Expand your horizons through a complex, ancient ritual involving the iPhone, peyote, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and a picture of your dead Grammie.
- Replace your God.
But it will create a whole new date for the calendar!