Sometimes when you see something, you immediately wish you could un-see it. That is where I stand with the Vibram Fivefingers sports sandals. These “shoes” are like ruggedized toe socks, with individual toes. There is no excuse for this, and by god the first person I see wearing these gets a punch to the head.
Really, I’ll suffer having to see your toes as you wear flip-flops on even the rainiest of days. I’ll even abide the recurring trend that is Ugg boots. But this is taking footwear evolution too far. You should not want the bottoms of your feet to resemble those of burn patients, which is what happens here.
I can’t find words to describe how wrong these are. This is even worse than those glue-on flip-flops. This is worse than Hitler. This is worse than a sober Lohan. This is worse than Windows Mobile. If you even think about buying these for a moment, I will strike down your kids with the Ass-Cancer of Thor. Do you hear me?
Vibram Sandals [Product page, via Boing Boing (curse you, Cory Doctorow!)]
Oh, man. You had to drag WinMo into this, didn’t you?
You couldn’t leave well enough alone with the Hitler and the Lohan.
Zing.
This whole post is hilarious, because John Biggs wrote a review today about how amazing these shoes are.
Depends on what you use them for… I think they would be superlative water socks which is what they seem to be intended for.
For those who haven’t walked around in a running river, the rocks on the bottom tend to be very slippery and every inch of purchase helps. Separating the toes and letting each one grip looks like a pretty good idea to me.
I’ve got Birkenstocks for regular walking-around wear, but if I were doing something out-doorsey these would work.
Clearly you should start with Jordan @ above, Matt.
But… are they worse than Crocs?
Nothing is worse than a sober Lohan. Trust me.
Don’t get me wrong, anyone using these to walk around Starbucks would be a grade-A asshat… but I could see them working in an outdoor environment. The only place local to me that sells them is a kayak shop and that seems appropriate.
Actually, I bought a pair for barefoot running and they are great… never criticize something before you try it…
PS if you want to try your luck at punching me in the head, let me know and I’ll tell you where I live… :) you might change your mind when you meet me
Jesus – I thought toe SOCKS were bad. I tried a pair on once and reflexively punched my salesperson in the throat.
Nevermind how a person would look in these things. . . they have to feel ungodly awful. I cringe at the mere thought.
I was at first curious about Vibram 5 Finger shoes and contacted Vibram headquarters with further questions. Instead I received trite, manufactured, generic, dispassionate responses from their customer service department – GEORGIA SHAW (this woman has absolutely no idea what customer service is). For a small company trying to break into a very large industry, they certainly think small when hiring such incompetent staff. If they are that bad at customer service how can I trust their shoes on my feet?
Have you ever dealt with customer service before? That sort of response and incompetence, is pretty typical. Besides, I’m sure she has regular duties beyond dealing with you.
I think toe socks are odd, these definitely fall under the “why do we need these” category. Besides, they are totally discriminating against the Morton’s toe population (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morton’s_toe)
Shayna, that’s like saying Diesel or Levi’s are discriminating against people without legs. Guess what, every product on the market ‘discriminates’ against people with some kind of physical anomaly. Also, I do not think that word means what you think it means
Discriminate: to make a distinction in favor of or against a person or thing on the basis of the group, class, or category to which the person or thing belongs rather than according to actual merit
Also, people with Morton’s toe DO fit into these shoes and wear them comfortably. Why don’t you try something on before denouncing it? If you try them on, I guarantee that you will like them much better than that pair of crocs everyone know you own – yet you deny.
for all of you who think these things look weird and or feel weird, i suggest trying them on.
i have 3 pairs of fivefingers (2 classics, 1 sprint) and i almost never want to take them off.
sure, they look weird, but they’re no weirder than croc clogs, or croc mary janes or freakin’ croc flipflops (don’t even get me started on parents letting their children wear crocs – it’s dangerous – try googling ‘crocs melting escalator’). as for feeling weird, it takes a little while for you to get used to having something between your toes, but after that, it’s awesome!
i bet you used to run around when you were a kid, sans shoes, all the time. now that most of us have grown up and have been forced to wear shoes most of the time, our feet are tender. fivefingers allow you to feel barefoot without feeling like you’re walking around on glass or rocks all the time.
interested in using them outdoors? i wore them to go climbing in tidepools at the beach this weekend and i was scrambling all over big boulders with the fivefingers providing AWESOME grip – i didn’t slip once. and they dried on my feed in about 5 minutes once i was in the sun.
they’re a great outdoor or just hanging out shoe.
@Wow and Proud Owner: Please don’t pull a Whole Foods sock puppet thing. You’re the same person.
@wow It’s called facetiousness – and IT definitely means what I think it means. :) Since I loathe flip-flops and anything that fits between my toes; I can guarantee that I won’t like them more than my Merrell’s. Thrilled for you and your Happy Feet! (*slightly sarcastic* – just in case the digital medium loses the translation)
the first person i saw wearing the socks…i thought that they had hands for feet. unless you’re a monkey…i don’t see the need for these.
i wonder how people with longer toes wear these? (like one of my friends who’s middle toe is longer then her big toe!!! *cringe* she is no longer allowed to walk barefoot at my place)
So let me get this straight…
The product sucks because you have seriously strange personal issues about seeing people’s feet? Wow, get help.
Where you 4 all born with “blinders” on or did your parents have them surgically implanted?
Form follows function. It takes a lot of $$$ to take a concept to production, and you can bet that This company DID THEIR RESEARCH.
I have been a white-water kayaker for over 15 years now, and can tell you, this is a great design.
But, then again, why do we “need” kayaks? Or motorcycles? or Starbucks, for that mater? But I’ll bet you 4 sit around Starbucks drinking your 8 dollar coffee and make fun of people that aren’t dressed like you.
Matt “there is no excuse for this” Hickey,
Shayna “why do we need these” F ,
Profesional “They have to feel ungodly awful” Gun,
and Pure “I don’t see a need for these” Chinoy.
Matt, you try to sound like you’re 6′6” and bullet proof, I’ll bet it’s closer to 5′6″ in lifts. Btw, I’ll line up for that punch to the head too.
Shayna, I love my Merrell’s too. But, let’s see how comfortable they are after you’ve worn them in the river a few times. Oh,btw, have you ever tried to swim a class 4 rapid with your Merrill’s?
Professional “I punched my salesperson in the throat” Gun. I’ll bet your
“winky” is as big as your stories.
and you, PureChinoy, I hear Castro Is looking for a replacement. You would fit in real good controling your own little world.
I think Chris said It best……..GET HELP!!!!!
Hey there Matt,
So, “There is no excuse for this, and by god the first person I see wearing these gets a punch to the head.” When and where can we meet? You seem like a nice narrow minded individual, who sits at a desk giving your lack luster opinion and never getting out. Maybe it makes you feel big and all-mighty to spew this ill informed prejudice view of a product you obviously haven’t tried.
As others have said, please get help.
I love my Fivefingers almost as much as I hate narrow-minded dolts.
wow you feel the need to bash something because you disagree with how it looks. id love to buy a pair of these and find out where you live so i could follow you around wearing them. lets see you try and punch me then. fucking asshat.
Matt, dude, you’re an imbecile. These aren’t intended for casual wear (although you could). These are meant for activities, you know, stuff where people actually get off their lazy butts!
Yeah you suck. Youre a walking dry heave, and besides that, you picked the best looking pair of em to post. The other models arent nearly as good looking as these, shit man, id wear these to the bar with some khaki pants. they are hot.
As I was perusing the internet today, I came home from my job at Vibram and happened upon your webpage declaring the Vibram Fivefingers worse than Hitler… after laughing for about five minutes, I decided that I should print this page and show my co-workers, whom joking were referring to our job site and Auschwitz Soling.
I personally use the Five Fingers for running and find them to be terrific!! The soles of my feet do not resemble a burn victims, and are in fact smoother and healthier than previously. You need to “walk a mile in the shoes” before you can judge them. Barefooters rule!
I bought a pair for walking and travelling and I think they’re great. Some of th ecolour schemes are too bright for me, but they’re great for hiking. I’m using them for the West Highland Way next week. They aren’t so good for city walking where there’s lots of broken glass or old cobbled streets. My review’s here.
Vibram soles are (literally) sensational for cobbled streets, because you can feel the shapes of the stones.
I haven’t tried these yet, as I’m not nearly as outdoorsy as I wish I could be (urban, have toddler, you know…). But after doing my homework on FiveFingers, I think they might be an excellent “yogic” shoe that mimics the natural functions of the foot. As to the fashion, who cares? They’re meant for function, not fashion. I remember some pretty scathing reviews of crocs from a couple years back, and that didn’t seem to stop people from enjoying them. A little bit I wrote about them here: http://lotuspadyogamats.com/2007/08/15/barefootiness/
Oh wow, you’re quite ignorant about the PURPOSE of the Vibram FiveFingers, Matt. Sure, they look silly and weird, but they’re used for outdoor activities whether its in the dirt, water, practically anywhere. I think you were assuming Vibram created these shoes to start some trend or the sort. WELL NO. It’s recently been getting much praise and support in the running community by well known runners. If you care enough, just research the benefits and usage that these shoes offer on their website.
Thank God!!
hi everyone. I took the advice of one of the commentors and went to “tip top shoes” shoe store on w72nd street at Broadway in Manhattan. The only thing I would have regretted about these “shoes” would be to order a pair before trying them on. These are a TOTALLY different experience than ANY shoe and I advise that one interested in buying a pair try to find a shoe store to try them out first. This is in light of my assuming that I was size 42 because I measured my foot at home by the website’s conversion chart, turns out I was in the store a full hour making sure I would fit comfortably in the right pair. I tried 42 first was tight then 44 too big. 43 fight perfect but didnt have classic black/black in classic style so I almost walked out with the grey ones but decided to let them order black ones in 43 and wait 2 weeks for them. In the shoe store they seemed awesome, I hope they will be comfortable on long walks. They do not however, feel anything like going barefooted, nothing can except the real deal. I usually am barefooted everywhere and anytime(unless extreme temperatures) even in NYC! and these “shoes” will essentially be for protection in extreme cold or when I’m working(trucking) but will slip them off while I’m in the truck ;)
So would you allow everyone to be barefoot everywhere instead of wearing shoes? That way you would never have to complain about the fashion of someone’s shoes or socks. If you know any one where their toes are bent and go on top of each other, you will understand the use of these socks and shoes. In addition these are meant to keep your foot base wide instead of trying to make them narrower than they actually are. The closer you get to your natural motion without shoes, the better your body will function. The biggest problem with most shoes is they keep your heel up which shortens your plantar fascia and calf muscle. People need to walk more on the balls of their feet and less on their heels. The padding on the heel of shoes helps encourage heel walking instead of walking more naturally like would be done when going barefoot.
I just put my pair on. I have the red Sprint, and I think I need a size larger. I am forever going barefoot, and when I saw these shoes I thought I would like them. I am very active with climbing, kayaking, and walking my dogs…and am looking forward to having fun with these shoes. It amazes me that people are so quick to judge things they don’t really understand, or to belittle people who find things like FiveFingers interesting. SO you think they are ugly and you don’t want a pair…fine. More for me. You say you want to punch me in the head…give it a go. You will find that with my superior punch dodging abilities (thanks to the traction of my FiveFingers), I am a hard target to hit!! Whhhhhaaaaaaaa! *swoosh swoosh*(Bruce Lee yell and hand moves)
try, then critize. you are a closeminded nazi.
I tried them on, and my 2nd toe feels so squished. So no, they don’t really work for people with Morton’s toe. I tried a larger size, but then my other toes don’t fit.
I called them on it, and they said that people are able to fit them properly even with longer toes, but it’s a personal preference thing.
These things are at the very least really functional for those of us who enjoy outdoor activity, which is more then can be said for Uggs, Crocs or Lohan.
I have a pair of the sprint and classic, and use them for portaging for flatwater racing, trust me they are brilliant!
Got them mainly because they give you the sensitivity for steering and yet make sure you dont rip your feet to shreds when your running over god knows what.
And while i dont think i would ever wear them down the shops, i do think they look pretty cool…
ok, let me be the fall guy. i’ll take Lohan sober, drunk, or in-between.
as for the 5 fingers, i got a problem. i got 6 toes. vibram, are you listening?
i like em.. and if a store around here carried em i would probably buy some.. and no i dont care what anyone else thinks so yah bitch dont bitch i dont care.. my point is i like em and would buy em…
“There is no excuse for this, and by god the first person I see wearing these gets a punch to the head.”
There are several practical reasons to wear these, most notably, comfort. Luckily, I don’t need an excuse to wear them. Not everyone is afraid to wear unique/strange articles in public, Hickey. Hating things simply because they are unconventional is about as stupid as liking things just because they are unconventional. I would LOVE for your dim-witted ass to punch me in the head. I would destroy you.
“Really, I’ll suffer having to see your toes as you wear flip-flops on even the rainiest of days. I’ll even abide the recurring trend that is Ugg boots.”
And you’ll suffer having to see my feet in these, too. Your pain brings me pleasure.
“But this is taking footwear evolution too far. You should not want the bottoms of your feet to resemble those of burn patients, which is what happens here.”
Yeah, good call, footwear should stop evolving. Why make new, more comfortable footwear when we can all wear army boots and avoid the unbearable sight of the outline of people’s fully covered toes?
“I can’t find words to describe how wrong these are. This is even worse than those glue-on flip-flops. This is worse than Hitler. This is worse than a sober Lohan. This is worse than Windows Mobile. If you even think about buying these for a moment, I will strike down your kids with the Ass-Cancer of Thor. Do you hear me?”
You are a tool. I hear you and I laugh. Find something meaningful to give people crap about.
I’m with Steve.
These shoes are the most comfortable thing I’ve ever worn. So when you see me wearing them and give me a strange look, remember that I don’t give a shit what you think, I’m comfortable, biatch.
You are such an asswipe
Not for the squeamish {seesmic_video:{”url_thumbnail”:{”value”:”http://t.seesmic.com/thumbnail/pHrjUXHHDa_th1.jpg”}”title”:{”value”:”Not for the squeamish ”}”videoUri”:{”value”:”http://www.seesmic.com/video/Ex93WKWSDI”}}}
Matt Hickey = Douchebag
I have a pair of the flow, and the classics. LOVE them. Can’t be beat for serious hiking (once you’re used to them).
And as far as Starbucks goes … the one I go to always has HOT CHICKS. And HOT CHICKS love shoes. At the very least, they’re curious. They ask questions. They find out that you’re into fun outdoor stuff, and are not afraid to do your own thing (as opposed to Matt Hickey, who is a style douche).
And yes, my official testimonial is “my Five Fingers get me laid”. :-)
I agree, these are some of the greatest footwear products around!!!
I walked all over SF with them, then took them to Yosemite and they worked wonderfully. No slipping on wet rocks, climbed on just about everything. They then went to Tahoe and then to Napa, there is no wrong place to wear them and they are comfortable and accommodating everywhere. They even help you physically with posture and muscle balancing.
As well I can’t wait to run into Matt Hickey if he thinks a punch to the head is in order he’s got another thing comin’!!!
Greatest shoes ever!
I’d like to point my middle finger (oh, toe) in my Vibram to you!
One of our best selling item, the most relaxing shoes you can get whether it’s at home, among the rocks or for driving. A pity it doesn’t go well with suits.
Stock is running low, but we still have a few left at SportsRemedies.com
Cheers,
cft.
Your diatribe was very funny; a little relief on a stressful day; I laughed and laughed. Thanks. I have five pair.
Clean the sand out of your vagina and get a life. It bothers me that no one can rant and rave about important issues in this world, but give them something petty to talk about….. and really, you would go as far as committing a violent act towards another person for waring these shoes? Come on Mr. Hickey, we should all punch you in the head for not legally changing your last name….Hickey, what hell kind of last name is that?
I have two pair and love them to death. It is truly sad that a man with the last name Hickey would choose to spend his time ranting and raving, pointlessly and without any factual argument might I add, about a phenomenal invention he has not even tried. It sounds to me that Mr. Hickey has not even seen a pair with his own eyes, considering he has threatened to punch anyone sighted wearing them. You might want to invest in a pair, because if you punch me, I promise it will take more than one hit and you will want every possible tool to help you run faster, and aside from a pair of track spikes, the fivefingers will do the trick.
You know some of us don’t just on our asses and eat chips and watch american idol…for those outdoor enthusists…these are a must have…very comfortable, breathable, and they dry quick.
I purchased a pair of these shoes with my friends last year. We love them where them nearly everyday when the weather allows it. Last summer I run an average of 7 miles a week about half of it on sidewalks and the other half on a dirt road. We do allot of kayaking down river and they are unbelievable the Flow pair is the best ive found so far for keeping out sand. If you like being bare foot these shoes are the ticket. They will also help ones balance allot. I would give these shoes a solid thumbs up!!
Has anyone worn these to play competitive tennis? I also live in a very hot climate and was wondering just how much of the pavement heat pass through to one’s feet.
That’s racist.