Thank you, Critical Section

People, please don’t complain about the $100 rebate that Apple is giving you because you purchased the iPhone before its price drop. No one feels your pain, no one thinks that you’re suffering a great injustice. Hey, that’s Fake Steve talking, not me. I say complain all you want since it makes my decision to be too poor to afford an iPhone seem all the more rational.

It’s like this: Fake Steve, who I have on my fantasy chief executive officer league, is ticked off that some guy who writes for BusinessWeek who doesn’t even own an iPhone hates that he can’t use the rebate on iTunes (keeping in mind that he never could use the rebate in the first place). Oh, and you can absolutely use the rebate on iTunes gift cards. So there, mister.

Listen, whiners, Apple’s $100 rebate is a gift. In no way did it have to give it to you. Either be grateful or wallow in self pity. All I know is Fake Steve called you out, days after the real Steve said, “Yeah, well, that’s the technology game.”

You paid a premium to be the first kid on the block with an iPhone. Remember that.

I hate Bill Maher, but you know what? This time he’s right. [The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs]