Attention: Mariah Carey. I know you read this blog, I’ve been tracking you via IP address for years. I’m not sure why you like Nicholas’s stuff more than mine, you tramp, but whatever, it’s your problem. At any rate, I ran across this diamond encrusted iPhone and immediately thought of you. I mean, you’re very similar, aren’t you? You’re celebrated for your features, but really don’t do anything lots of others don’t, and now, with the diamonds around the edge, you’re more about blinging than singing.

I know the last album didn’t do so hot, honey, but you should still be able to pull out $40k for this iPhone. I mean, you want yours to be better than Paris’s Sidekick, don’t you? And I mean her phone, not that skanky Ritchie character.

diamond encrusted iphone sparkles [technabob]