Well, folks, they caught him. Our own Peter Ha, aka Robert Stewart, was caught red-handed trying to have sex with a bicycle in Ayr, UK.
Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
“They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
“The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”
Let this be a warning to other cycle-sexualists: always yell “Occupied” when in a hostel in Ayr and while having sex with your Huffy. Peter Ha forgot this important bit of information and now look at him: three years on probation and is prohibited from sniffing or rubbing bike seats for six months.
I hate you, John.