The Wii sucks - but don’t take our word for it!

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I love it when fanbois try to attack their most prized possession. This softball at all things Wii complains about scarcity, storage, and poor graphics while couching the criticism in the same “I love him but he beats me” language found on Cops.

The A+ titles out are of such a high caliber, it’s hard to get into a glass-half-empty train of thought. But it’s not all lollipops and gumdrops, and the Wii has a lot of room for improvement.

It’s not all lollipops and gumdrops, is it. It’s mostly derivative platformers involving infantile characters and party games that require hours of intense, convoluted gameplay. It’s apropos-of-nothing storylines, poor graphics, bad controls, and a sports game that only the geriatric or DDR lovers can really get into. It’s popular because parents feel they can get their kids a Wii and it won’t scar them for life but it will scar them: the kids will be so frustrated playing Elebits they’ll realize God is dead.

Revolutionary: 10 Things I Hate About Wii

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15 Comments so far

 
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pji (Who am I?)

Speak for yourself… The kids (14 & 10) have a PS2, PS3, and a Wii. Other than rock band, all of the games on the christmas list were for the Wii.

 
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Johnny Appleseed (Who am I?)

Say what you will, but they’re selling like hotcakes, proving that the guy with the biggest Johnson doesn’t always get the most tail.

 
Againandagain

All right, we get it. Wii-bashing articles bring more traffic and ad revenue. Even TechEBlog eventually gave it a rest with their top 10 lists, maybe it’s time to find a new angle guys.

 
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John Biggs (Who am I?)

I have a wii, paid for it with my own money, and I honestly don’t like it. How much traffic and/or ad revenue do we get for mentioning unpopular opinion? It’s not like the Wii police are trying to DoS us.

 
Againandagain

And I returned a sweater last week because I didn’t end up liking it. But I don’t stand in front of the store proclaiming how foolish everyone else is for buying one, in a vain attempt to make myself feel elite.

It’s a game console, it should entertain you. Don’t buy one just to fit in with the ‘cool’ crowd. An article title with the words ‘Wii Sucks’ makes it pretty apparent what criteria you really use to choose one console over another.

 
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John Biggs (Who am I?)

I have it because I cover electronics and sometimes items come up that I need to review that require a Wii. If I didn’t have to cover the space, I’d have sold it on eBay months ago. Humans have opinions and yours is as valid as mine, although mine are knee-jerk and inflammatory.

 
Againandagain

Heh, Trust me, I can see plenty of reasons why people would hate the Wii, but I can find just as many cons for the other 2 consoles I own as well. I love your site, but I’d feel less reason to comment on ‘Wii Sucks’ stories if you posted just as many ‘360 Sucks’ and ‘PS3 Sucks’ stories too. My own knee-jerk reaction was that anti-Wii, or anti-Microsoft, or anti-whateversthemostpopularpieceofconsumerelectronicsatthetime posts come across as a kind of lame way to grab some media attention.

Blogs seem to have the advantage over magazines when it comes to being able to honestly critique a piece of hardware (ie rip it a new one) with little to no backlash when it comes to losing advertising dollars. So let’s just try and spread the hate around evenly ok?

 
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John Biggs (Who am I?)

i agree, but I haven’t found much hate to spread about the 360 - except that XBL banned me - and I don’t have a PS3 so I can’t comment. I’m sure I’d hate that as well, but i don’t mind the PSP and the PS2 was my entry into second-gen gaming, after the nES, so it has a place in my heart.

I always say this, but I’ll say it again: I WANT to like the Wii. I want to spend hours and hours playing Zelda the way I used to but Twilight Princess just pissed me off. I’m this angry because it’s so hard for me to say OK, I’ll play this game straight through without shooting myself the same way I said that about a number of 360 titles including but not limited to Orange Box, Bioshock, and Gears of War.

Maybe I’m not the right Wii audience but I used to be an absolutely spot on Nintendo audience and it just frustrates me that I don’t feel they’ve left the NES era, which was a golden age for video games, yet still somehow managed to make the experience worse, not better.

 
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Adam (Who am I?)

Must say, the only reason it crossed my mind to get this system for my kids was to give them a little physical activity while gaming… I was an Atari/Colecovision/Intelevison couch potato and if I had the games today back then? I’d be 800lbs and they’d have to remove a wall to bury me.

 
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midorakawa (Who am I?)

John complains about “derivative platformers involving infantile characters” then posts the picture of the urinal with the word Wii above it to illustrate just how “infantile” he is.
How can he expect anyone to take him seriously when he’s such a hypocrite.

And by the way John, the wii jokes were tired two months after the Wii launched, and that’s about 11 months ago, so get a new gimmick.

 
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JP (Who am I?)

Trust me, AgainandAgain, plenty of PS3 hatin’ has been spread by others on this site, and that’s cool, they can have their Xboxes and eat them too — but mark my words, Biggs is spot-on: the Wii ain’t no second coming.

 
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Earnest (Who am I?)

I’ve owned most video game systems since the Atari 2600–even many of the unpopular ones (Magnavox’s Odyssey 2, Atari Lynx). I would be kidding myself if I said that my interest in video game hadn’t waned over the last decade. With few exceptions, the past few years have seen only a handful of truly compelling titles, and those wear out their welcome by become franchises for the publishers. I like the Wii; I don’t think there’s been a basketfull of quality games for it, but Super Mario Galaxy has been worth the price of admission, alone! It reminds me of when I was a kid and my cousins got the first NES I’d ever seen and Mario looked so wonderful that I simply had to play it–even if that meant enduring atrocities like the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles games over the years. I actually am not a fanboy–did not own an N64, Gamecube, or DS because I’d sworn off Nintendo. The Wii has made me a believer, again. You know why? I enjoy games that are actually *fun* to play. For better or worse, Wii Sports is a blast to play. So is Mario.

 
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WII RIPPED ME OFF (Who am I?)

You probably aren’t that old, but sure do act like an old whiny bitch. “It reminds me of when…..”, why don’t you look to the future instead of living in the past. XBOX 360 games like Mass Effect are creating and environment that actually makes you feel emotions and have more important goals other than “I’ve gotta get all 100 stars so I can play as Luigi!!!!”. You should sell your wii for the $400 or so bucks on ebay and get a 360. Have you seen the game list for the wii in the future? Now that Mario, Zelda, and Metroid are done, it’s all downhill from here. I’ll admit Wii Sports is fun although it’s simplicity dates back to pong.

 
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Eric Brown (Who am I?)

I knew Nintendo would screw up again(and the loyal nintendo fanboys) Wow, the Godfather,Scarface,Manhunt 2 and Bully are on the wii! No GTA 4, No Half-life 2 or portal from Valve software! and way too many Mario games! My Sega Dreamcast is better than wii! I rather continue to buy games for ps2! I would rather buy xbox 360 than a wii! I was going to buy a wii. But all the games a re crap!

 
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ghkj (Who am I?)

I hate the wii its only good as a fan for the xbox

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