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Do you know what Habbo is? I sure as hell don’t, but it’s apparently very popular with the kids. These kids, so Paramount hopes, have plenty of money to throw around—recession be damned—which explains the deal it struck with the kiddie social networking site. In the deal, of which no financial terms have been disclosed, Paramount will create content for the site that kids are expected to bug their parents to buy for them. Picture things like “Mean Girls” clothes, Beowulf spears and other crap.

It’s for kids. Kids like junk.

Though the movie industry isn’t as doomed doomed doomed as its music industry cousin, deals like this are done to “diversify” their assets. That way, top execs can turn to their shareholders during the big annual meeting and say, “Clearly Paramount Pictures is embracing the new Web 2.0 era.” Then they all pat each other on the back and light up Cuban cigars with $100 bills. That’s what I would do, at any rate.

Paramount to court teens with Habbo [Variety, which uses entirely too much jargon]