For only $21.99 you can own this cutting edge, state-of-the-art portable media player, Colossal. Your definition of “portable” would have to be a little more flexible than mine, however, since, judging by the photo, you’d need one hell of a bag to fit it in. Its specs are, shall we say, a little on the unimpressive side as well, being powered by two AA batteries and mustering only 256MB of storage space. (I hope it’s flash!) Standard-issue Chapstick has more storage than that.

Gawker, true to form, points out that hipsters—hipsters are the annoying Brooklyn people who wear stupid, tight clothes and make it a point to be ironic even though everyone already ignores them—would eat Colossal for breakfast. (Then they’d purge; hipsters are allergic to food, too.) They feed off “irony” like Biggs feeds off sausage.

Could this be the iPod killer?

Colossal MP3 Player Spotted at Walgreens! [geeksugar via Gawker]