13-year-old would rather play Halo with hooker than get laid, will be next 40-year-old virgin
- May 13th, 2008
- 6 Comments
What is with America’s youth these days? 13-year-old Ralph Hardy from Newark, Texas, decided that he was going to spend $30,000 on junk food, gadgets, an Xbox and two hookers with a stolen CC, which is fine and dandy, but who asks call girls to play Halo instead of doing the deed?
This kid sounds super weird, but he’s pretty clever. When the escorts came and realized he was under age he told them that he was apart of a traveling circus because he had a growth impairment and that, by law, they couldn’t refuse him service because of his disability. On the other hand, Ralph and his friends told the junk food delivery guy that they had just won a WoW tournament. He finagled a CC from one of his dad’s accounts by answering those security questions that are meant to keep your account secure.
For his tomfoolery, Ralph has been convicted of fraud and sentenced to three years of community service.
thebonafortuna (Who am I?)
3 months ago
Thats not clever - thats downright satanic. Even as a thirteen year old, I would never even consider the idea of stealing from my parents, or God forbid somebody they worked with. That kid probably (definitely) just ruined his father’s professional career.
I hope this dad puts the smack down on his kid something fierce. Or, you know, takes him to a psychologist to “work out and understand” what his son is going through. That would be just as effective.
JOSH (Who am I?)
3 months ago
He shoulda put his bike in her trunk. Me So Horny! They feel like sand bags.
Zach (Who am I?)
3 months ago
I think the best part of the story is right at the end when Dad say he’s sorry for forgetting the kids birthday (which is how the youngster justified the use of Dad’s card to police) and that he would take his son on a surprise trip to Disneyland to make up for it!
I wish I was punished with trips to Disney!
SteveO (Who am I?)
3 months ago
Great story… to bad it never happened… The UK pub that originally reported it is not real.
The circus midget part is my fav though!
Daniel Thunders (Who am I?)
1 month ago
YES!!! bart simpson strikes again
BHIG THITHEE PHING PHONH CHINA (Who am I?)
1 month ago
Lol this guy is stupid as fu** but again he’s got BALLS of steel to order prostitutes and then play halo? Hmmm. Maybe i will try that…