Notes for nerds: meet CrunchGirl

crunchgirl4Well, hello there. It looks like I’ll be joining you from time to time to enlighten you on the many moods and musings of fair ladies everywhere, and maybe even attract a few of them (and let’s be honest, their advertisers) to the the site. Cause let’s face it, some things are just in need of a touch of girly charm.

You can call me CrunchGirl, and yes, I come here often.

My first post is inspired by an item of news earlier this week that created a bit of a flutter among newsfolk. Jimmy Fallon’s upcoming Web show, a sort of pre-party for his foray into late night TV. Now according to the statsmongers, we ladies don’t typically find online video quite as appealing as our clumsier counterparts (that’s you), but my initial response was overwhelmingly positive. I’d watch Jimmy Fallon’s show if it were presented via flip book. Nerd, yes; cute? Totes.

So in honor of this exciting news, and in keeping with the week’s list-making trend, I’d like to share a few of my fave hot nerds, along with a little note to self info for you nerds on how they achieved their desirable, dichotomous status.

1) Jimmy Fallon, obvs. The hubby of Drew Barrymore’s bestie hands down defines the category. Ask 10 girls to name the hottest nerd, and a minimum of eight would name the future late night host. Shruggy sarcasm, smallish t-shirts, chronic bedhead and a set of boxy glasses are all steps in the right direction toward approximating his appeal. Something tells me he’s not the kind of guy who would really do this.

2) Wall-E. This trash-compacting cutie certainly isn’t a girl’s typical hot date, but let’s examine a few specific elements of Wall-E’s charm:

* He likes old romantic musicals, can’t get enough of Barbra Streisand’s “Hello, Dolly.” Trying to score tickets to Rent as many times as you can before its Broadway run draws to a close in September will certainly land your on the bi-questionable list, but maintaining a general knowledge of films that don’t involve guns, comic strip heroes or Denzel Washington will get you a lot further than you know.
* Persistence. Wall-E’s GF Eve straight up bombs him when they first meet. Listen. Love at first sight isn’t common. Sometimes you meet a girl and you think she’s a beyotch, or she’s taken, or (to think!) uninterested. Girls are complicated and guys… Well, you’re not generally all that smart (about girls, duh). Shoot for friends and see where it goes from there. Maybe you’ll change your mind. Maybe she’ll change her mind. Or maybe her friend is hot.
* Wall-E and Eve’s outerspace dance is one of the most adorably romantic scenes in a recent film, animated or otherwise. Tough to re-create, to be sure. Be clever and try.

3) Chuck. Zachary Levi, who stars in the NBC show, is likely a full-on hottie in the outside of the TV box. But the Buy More Nerd Herd secret agent he plays, the one who has been rocking a sand worm co-costume with his best friend every Halloween since the eighth grade, is hands down nerdtastic. Sure, his hair is crispily helmet-like, his awkwardly skinny ties are never exactly straight, and to quote Bridget Jones, he should “seriously re-think the length of those sideburns.” But the key to Chuck’s nerdhotness comes down to one primary distinction. He’s a secret agent. I’m not gonna lie, 007 status is gonna be difficult to achieve, but great hot-making cred if you can get (fake) it.

4) Ben Lyons. E!s Daily 10 movie guy’s Gossip Girl upbringing may belie his nerd status, but it only takes seeing one clip of him awkwardly interviewing hot chicks sans hair product to catch wind of his inner nerd. Perhaps his daddy did get him where he is and where he’s going, but this video (note the jacket) should be evidence enough. Here’s the thing: awkward is hot. Knowing everything about any topic and complete confidence is obnoxious. Shut up. Show us your vulnerable side, and we’ll be much more likely to make out with you.

5) Peter Ha. So maybe you thought you’d see another techie Pete on this list, former Engadgeteer Pete Rojas or Mashable’s much drooled after Pete Cashmore. But one’s married and the other seems to have a busy dance card and no girl likes that sort of competition. Plus, you may have noticed, I’m new here and certainly not adverse to a little kissing up (take notes, gentlemen), which is why I’m happy to include CrunchGear’s News Editor. Since we haven’t yet gotten to know each other all that well, I’ll let these ladies sum things up.

You know you love me. xoxo

CG

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17 Comments so far

 
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Benny Goldman (Who am I?)

Peter, stop pretending you’re a girl.

 
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Peter Ha (Who am I?)

Tehehe

 
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hawk88 (Who am I?)

That’s practically a straight up confession right there.

 
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Peter Ha (Who am I?)

Seriously?! Like I have the time.

 
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Mark L (Who am I?)

O_O …when Don’t you have the time?

lawls

 
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ryan (Who am I?)

Yawn
If I wanted touchy feely sensitive tech info, I’d read engadget
Totes???
WTF is Totes?
Peter, knock it off, you are scaring us.

 
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Peter Ha (Who am I?)

I AM NOT CRUNCHGIRL. What is wrong with you people?!

 
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John Biggs (Who am I?)

Dude. I told you this was a bad idea, peter. Just admit that it’s you.

 
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ryan (Who am I?)

Sure
Of course you aren’t
You would have listed yourself first
http://www.geeksugar.com/767564
Followed by Matt Hickey

 
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Little Red Ryan Hood (Who am I?)

@ryan & Benny: Crunchgirls proper use of commas and lack of spelling mistakes leads me to believe this is not Peter.

 
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Nicholas Deleon (Who am I?)

You win best comment on the Internet.

 
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Marc M. (Who am I?)

Uh if this is legimate we need nakie pictures. Please god though if it’s you Peter I don’t want to see your … well uhh Peter.

By the way I was far to lazy to read that whole post, I probably will later.

 
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Little Red Ryan Hood (Who am I?)

Marc M.’s comment should instantly win him the CG geek of the year award and a years supply of floppy disks as a prize.

 
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Marc M. (Who am I?)

Actually I prefer HD-DVD’s they’re both obsolete … oh god did I just admit that?

 
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pirco (Who am I?)

what, has the female readership dropped below 1%?
that’s why you’re pulling out the big guns (CrunchGirl)??
i thought the MALE 18-36 market segment is the one advertisers like.

to be sure, I like girls. and I’m all for “integration” (liberalization certainly is not the right word here). but PLEASE… do it proper or drop ‘er.

 
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Laurie Shulman (Who am I?)

I can’t believe I’m just seeing this now! Love CrunchGirl…I always thought you boys needed a geeky gal on staff!

And CrunchGirl, I agree, Wall-E = awesome date. He could even fix things around the house.

 
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CrunchGirl (Who am I?)

Aww, thanks for the warm welcome, fans and future fans. I know you gentleman have your hands full keeping track of all the gadgets, goods and apps the CG team fills you in on every day. So, if you find yourself confused by girls or have questions or self-doubt of the un-technological variety, drop me a line. crunchgirl (at) crunchgear (dot) com. xoxo CG

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