While I’m not usually one to start pissing matches with parties I was formerly unaware of, I’m proud to note that our inimitable Devin Coldewey has come to the attention of our former Colonial rulers and has made them quite angry. One Leon Bailey, a young man of some intelligence, I’m certain, commented on our five reasons you don’t want to break your new MacBook, noting our fanboyism and “how much more like Beelzebub Apple is than Microsoft has ever been.” Touche, young man. Your astute assessment of our internal lust for Apple’s products is accurate if not understated. I, for one, have copulated with the not very spacious U.S.B. port of the MacBook Air and that was only lunchtime.
What’s my concern, then? Not that young Leon finds it offensive that we warn you against breaking your MacBook, verily. While we consider the post a PSA at best, his intimation that our erotic love-making with the new MacBook’s ermine, glossy screen and the taste of its sweet monocoque was enough to drive us to write a trifle about what not to break on it is frankly insulting. We care about you, dear readers, and we know we all love the soft feel of aluminum between your thighs, the warmth of a battery on your abs, and the succinct tintinnabulation of the trash can as it deletes another “Just not right” Photobooth picture of you and your iPhone 3G. Unlike Portable Computer Machine and Tabulation Systems magazine – published by the strange little men who brought you Stuff and Maxim – we take all comers and are accepting of all predilections. I like to think we rise above the small minds that would place us in little boxes and, perhaps, we want to be in those boxes, especially if those boxes contain SuperDrives. But you, Mr. Bailey, have no right to bring our lumpen, swart lust out of the closet so ignominiously and without warning. Like the other newspapers and periodicals he and his British brothers produce – many unfit for human consumption, the Economist being a noted yet highly borderline exception – his efforts at unmasking us only show his own prejudice and I would only hope that, like a certain Prince Harry, he and his cohorts do not dress in naughty, historically inappropriate costumes and gaze turgidly at the wide expanses of Microsoft Vista. We do not drag your wizened heart through the mud, Mr. Bailey, and we kindly encourage you to refrain from the same.
crunchgear 4 life gangstas!!!!!!!!!!
Can you mute it?
They just want to start a blog feud like Gizmodo and Engadget have – you should be glad for the cross promotion. I often blog about topics I read here on Crunchgear – and I always link to the original story and give you thanks. Keep up the good work – after all every tech blog has a hard on for Apple and their iGear and we are used to it by now so no harm no foul in my book.
You often blog?? Oh…I get it, you’re just another nobody with a blog who thinks people care about reading your garbage.
Here’s a news headline for you, everyone AND their dog has a blog and they’re all useless.
Hey my dog is not useless, the world deserves to know of his defecate escapades!
Hey my dog is not useless, the world deserves to know of his defecate escapades!
that post was your boston tea party. If you know your greek mythology.
Greek mythology? Wasn’t the boston tea party an American action of rebellion?
And Leon Bailey is a dick.
The Boston Tea party is totally part of Greek Mythology. It all started when Zeus, Kim Jong Il, and George Bush walked into a bar…
Mobile Computing Mag? Who the heck are they? Must be just one of those paper based mags no one reads anymore because there are better written, well researched, far more in depth, and timely reporting from blogshpere like yourself at CruchhGear!!
They’re just jealous of you guys ;) G33k on CrunchGear! \m/^_^\m/
They obviously had an ulterior motive when it came to publishing that article—free publicity. Crunch Gear clearly has more readers than that pathetic excuse of a publication and as a means to seek more readers, resorted to badmouthing this respected blog. Any human being in the right state of mind could tell that this ordeal was an avid plea for more readers and if this were the case, I would suggest to them investments in advertisements before making such fallacious claims.
Their comments system wasn’t even working correctly. I attempted to comment 3 times and it only managed to publish the first line of my statement. I guess they have a system to filter out criticism.
dear crunchgear,
you post too much. it’s been getting a bit out of hand, and as much as i like you, i’m feeling tempted to delete you off my feed list and just be content with my other feeds.
sincerely yours, jack.
You picked a fine time to leave us, Jack, with us in our pain.
I hope you are happy with those retarded sits such as gizmodo and engadget. Good bye.
Ha! I read Crunch-G because they post often!
Ah!!
My honour… rescued. Thank you, Lord Biggs.
I’m happy to see at least the writers of this little blog have a sense of humour… ;) But “Devin Coldewey”? That’s about as genuine a name as mine…
Excuse me! That’s my name you’re talking about!
I don’t’ get it, it sounds like he’s a Microsoft fan boy, wasn’t your post essentially how horrible of a company Apple is? Contradictions are a sign of stupidity.
You know I’ve down and agreed with you guys for ever gadget feud you’ve ever had, I’m on the same page with this one.
My closing statement is.
CrunchGear4life sucka!
Yeah, my name’s real too! (*waves* at assembled mob)
We don’t take kindly to your type ’round here. You best go on get son!
Do you know what we do to Crunchgear shit talkers in the tech-hood?
You’ll find out.
I have to defend our honor, Leon.
Yeah, good on you. I actually liked the original CG post. But guys, do you have some *crazy* readers…