“Have you turned it off and back on?” is Roy’s stock response on The IT Crowd. It’s funny because it’s true. If you’ve worked any IT support gigs, chances are you’ve developed your own repertoire of catchphrases and statements to succinctly distill your years of professional experience into a simple soundbite that can be understood by mere mortals.
Here, watch this video of a guy saying “I don’t know” in as many ways as possible:
Now share with the world the gems you use to illuminate or obfuscate!
From ZDNet blogs.
Some of my favorites:
“Hold on a minute while I check my resources.” — I’m about to check with my supervisor or someone else who knows what you’re talking about
“There must have been a system glitch when you made your new password” — you forgot your new password and you’re too important for me to imply such a thing.
“Does your start menu actually say Start?” — I don’t think you know the difference between XP and Vista, and this is going to be a very tedious call.
“Are there lights flashing next to your ethernet port? The ethernet cord looks like a big phone cord.” — I’m actually asking you to check that your computer is in fact connected to the wall at all.
“I’ve passed the information on to our developers and they are looking at the problem now”
I use this all time, solid gold people!
It’s trenchant and witty material such as this which has gained tech people their reputation as funnymen.
It’s true that IT folks have a bad reputation, not unlike car mechanics really. Most folks I know don’t really pay attention to the mechanic when he explains the knocking noise the car is making: the owner feigns attention and just wants to know how much the repairs will actually cost.
IT support is similar in many ways. There are some users who are interested in learning the hows and whys, but the overwhelming majority of users don’t care. I could provide a thorough explanation, but in most situations it wouldn’t help the user in any meaningful way.
That’s not to say that we should all BS our way through every customer engagement. There’s a difference between recognizing when an explanation is too much for a user to follow, and willfully making things up to misdirect someone. In situations where I don’t have an answer — which is most of the time, at least initially — I’ll always say “I don’t know, but I believe I can find out.”
I once had a support on-site call for a PC I sold to a middle aged woman. Upon entry into her house she bludgeoned me and stole a kidney. Seriously, the mouse was on the floor. So, I asked her to turn on the computer – no joke she sat down and kept pressing on the mouse with her foot.
I told her to return it,
I don’t know, I am a tech support worker and I try to be as honest as possible. If I have no clue, then I will tell the user that I am going to assign his/her ticket to someone else in the department who might be better suited to help them. If a person keeps emailing and being a jerk, then i will come up with something way over their head to make them feel like an idiot for asking :-)