Fellow citizens! Please be advised that BARNES & NOBLE has a Blu-ray and DVD sale that might interest you. It follows: if you buy TWO Blu-ray discs or TWO DVDs, you will receive a THIRD ONE for free. This sale covers every single title you can find in the brick-and-mortar store, which works out to some 35,000 online.

Pictured here is Revolutionary Road, a fine film that makes you want to hurry up, get married, and be miserable for the rest of your life. I can’t wait!

That is all.