From time to time, we like to give away DVD/Blu-ray box sets for various Comedy Central shows and today happens to be one of those days. Season six of the ROFLtastic Reno 911! goes on sale today and we have three copies of the entire uncensored season on DVD to give away. Do you want one? Yeah you do. Leave your favorite quote from the show in comments and we’ll pick the winners tomorrow (Wednesday) at noon ET.
Dangle: “If I gave a sh** about Kenny Rogers, I would take those two off this assignment.”
“And the installation is freee!” (Appropriate high pitched singing voice.)
Kimball: “I kissed my cousin once.”
Johnson: “Yeah? How old were you?”
Kimball: “36″
[talking to a junior high class]
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Now, I don’t care if you wear mini-skirts. I don’t care if you wear Dungarees. I don’t care if you’re good at basketball, I don’t care if you’re fun to be around. But you can rest assured that every one of you, at some point, is going to be raped.
Dangle: “God vomited, and there was Jackie”.
Since you didn’t specify it has to be a quote from the show, here’s my favorite qoute: “In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the majority than to be right alone.”
- John Kenneth Galbraith, economist
Now you have to, Tom2.
I consider myself to be fairly intelligent and fairly well read, but I just can’t wrap my mind around what you mean by, “Now you have too, Tom2.”
What has Tom2 done as well?
I don’t know if it’s the alliteration of “too tom two” that’s throwing me off, but just so I can sleep tonight, can you clarify?
I’m really glad you posted that. I was sitting here, trying to think of a quote and only able to come up with the image of their ‘method’ of training drug-sniffing dogs… and i slowly start to scroll down until i get to ‘Now you have too, Tom2.’ I had glanced over Tom2’s really appropriate quote and couldn’t think of what he was right about, so I re-read it. Then something in my brain snapped or fried or deflated and I was just stuck in a loop trying to decipher what he meant– like Lewis Black with the ‘if it weren’t for that horse I never would have spent those three years in college’ — my brain just couldn’t break free of it… and somehow your post released me from the loop as I realized I was not the only educated, intelligent person who had his mind grapes molested by whatever that statement was supposed to mean.
Tom2 posted a quote not related to 911, because in the original unedited post of this contest page it didn’t specify the quote had to be from the reno 911 series. Then after the website edited the page so that it clearly says that the quote must come from the series Peter HA said, “Now you have too, Tom2″ which translates to, “Now you have to, Tom2.”
anyways, here’s my fav quote:
Deputy Travis Junior: Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone’s on crystal meth and prostitution’s legal.
comment fail
“I’m goofin, new boot goofin. Just picked them up at the new booteria…three payments.”
Junior: I actually wanted to be in the FBI for about 20 minutes after I saw that movie with Jodie Foster and that guy who eats people in his basement, but I was really stoned at the time. And to be honest with you, for about 20 minutes, I also thought about making a dress out of people’s skin.
[On winning the lotto]
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I have an announcement to make. Suck my big black d**k. I won the f**king lotto, I’m a f**king millionaire and I don’t have to f**king sit here anymore and listen to your bulls**t, you f**king faggot.
Good job on censoring, except for leaving in the word most likely to offend.
Junior: We’re talking about you giving hand jobs at three bucks a pop at this red light up here that’s what we’re talking about.
Terry: Okay okay, a hand job is still a job, okay?
Dangle: Come on easy does it, Xanadu it right into the car.
Terry: You Xana-Don’t it!
Dangle: Did he just say “Xana-Don’t it?”
trudy nice thong by the way
id wear one to but huge bikket of pubes
motha f**ka i got ojs belt
motha f**ka i got ojs belt
motha f**ka i got ojs belt
my frined swiped it when oj went to jail
how much 700$
motha f**ka i got ojs belt suck it suck it i got ojs belt
motha F**ka i got ojs belt jay from vegas
yea
how much
400$ good deal right
Deputy James Garcia: “Dangle, get your ass out of my face. ”
Lt. Jim Dangle: “Get your FACE OUT OF MY ASS!”
Lt. Jim Dangle: “We have two passes to be witnesses at an execution. I know we all want these, so we’re gonna do this the way we generally handle these things and we’re gonna have a scavenger hunt. “
Deputy Travis Junior: “Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you *know* Jeff Gordon’s gonna die. “
Terry: I’m in five gangs now. I started two. I started the Kitties and the Grape Slushies.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Lt. Dangle and I have a very special relationship. We’re like a brother and sister… except a brother and sister who have sex.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: “I don’t know why everyone around here gets a boner every time the FBI comes in. All they do is wear suits and handle the fluids of dead people. That’s not sexy to me.”
“Wanna play chess? Wanna play mouth chess? I’ll mouth chess you.”
Love this show. Thanks for another contest I will undoubtedly not win.
“A healthy baby is worth $10-$20,000 on the internet, even if it’s Chinese.”
Junior: Ya know, it is estimated that the American workforce has lost 80-87% of its productivity after the invention of the internet—thank you Al Gore. Ah, they ain’t exactly Googlin’ recipes either. What they’re doin’ is they’re Googlin’ porn. We at the Reno sheriff’s department have SafeSearch embedded into each of our computers, but….you can get around that. What you gotta do is you gotta break into the Matrix. Most computers intimidate people cause you think they’re too complicated, but, they’re no more complicated than the human brain or a ’72 Chevy combustion engine. Alright, release the porn!
School administrator after Kimbal beats up horn ball in dog suit: “Remind me never to be raped.”
“Can I ask you a religious question? Is it a sin to fu** a monkey?”