Comments on: Contest: Win Season 6 of Reno 911! on DVD

By: Contest Update: Winners of Reno 911!

Contest Update: Winners of Reno 911! — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:29:42 +0000

[...] further ado, here are the winners of the Reno 911! Season Six DVD box sets. Congrats to the winners and thanks to everyone else for playing. Check your inbox, [...]

By: HawkSlayer

HawkSlayer — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:44:09 +0000

“Can I ask you a religious question? Is it a sin to fu** a monkey?”

By: Jimbo

Jimbo — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:21:02 +0000

Tom2 posted a quote not related to 911, because in the original unedited post of this contest page it didn’t specify the quote had to be from the reno 911 series. Then after the website edited the page so that it clearly says that the quote must come from the series Peter HA said, “Now you have too, Tom2″ which translates to, “Now you have to, Tom2.”

anyways, here’s my fav quote:

Deputy Travis Junior: Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone’s on crystal meth and prostitution’s legal.

By: Rape_Prevntion

Rape_Prevntion — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:57:09 +0000

School administrator after Kimbal beats up horn ball in dog suit: “Remind me never to be raped.”

By: Kyle S

Kyle S — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:07:41 +0000

Junior: Ya know, it is estimated that the American workforce has lost 80-87% of its productivity after the invention of the internet—thank you Al Gore. Ah, they ain’t exactly Googlin’ recipes either. What they’re doin’ is they’re Googlin’ porn. We at the Reno sheriff’s department have SafeSearch embedded into each of our computers, but….you can get around that. What you gotta do is you gotta break into the Matrix. Most computers intimidate people cause you think they’re too complicated, but, they’re no more complicated than the human brain or a ’72 Chevy combustion engine. Alright, release the porn!

By: Riles

Riles — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:44:49 +0000

“A healthy baby is worth $10-$20,000 on the internet, even if it’s Chinese.”

By: Patrick

Patrick — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:49:51 +0000

Love this show. Thanks for another contest I will undoubtedly not win.

By: benmarvin

benmarvin — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:35:36 +0000

“Wanna play chess? Wanna play mouth chess? I’ll mouth chess you.”

By: quigs

quigs — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:43:06 +0000

I’m really glad you posted that. I was sitting here, trying to think of a quote and only able to come up with the image of their ‘method’ of training drug-sniffing dogs… and i slowly start to scroll down until i get to ‘Now you have too, Tom2.’ I had glanced over Tom2’s really appropriate quote and couldn’t think of what he was right about, so I re-read it. Then something in my brain snapped or fried or deflated and I was just stuck in a loop trying to decipher what he meant– like Lewis Black with the ‘if it weren’t for that horse I never would have spent those three years in college’ — my brain just couldn’t break free of it… and somehow your post released me from the loop as I realized I was not the only educated, intelligent person who had his mind grapes molested by whatever that statement was supposed to mean.

By: fb1653906413

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:50:59 +0000

Deputy Clementine Johnson: “I don’t know why everyone around here gets a boner every time the FBI comes in. All they do is wear suits and handle the fluids of dead people. That’s not sexy to me.”

By: Joel

Joel — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:59:08 +0000

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Lt. Dangle and I have a very special relationship. We’re like a brother and sister… except a brother and sister who have sex.

By: Beau Anderson

Beau Anderson — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:46:12 +0000

Terry: I’m in five gangs now. I started two. I started the Kitties and the Grape Slushies.

By: Beau Anderson

Beau Anderson — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:38:47 +0000

Deputy Travis Junior: “Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you *know* Jeff Gordon’s gonna die. “

By: Beau Anderson

Beau Anderson — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:38:25 +0000

Lt. Jim Dangle: “We have two passes to be witnesses at an execution. I know we all want these, so we’re gonna do this the way we generally handle these things and we’re gonna have a scavenger hunt. “

By: Beau Anderson

Beau Anderson — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:29:47 +0000

Deputy James Garcia: “Dangle, get your ass out of my face. ”
Lt. Jim Dangle: “Get your FACE OUT OF MY ASS!”

By: TJ

TJ — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:48:15 +0000

Good job on censoring, except for leaving in the word most likely to offend.

By: ja rile

ja rile — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:44:42 +0000

motha f**ka i got ojs belt
motha f**ka i got ojs belt
motha f**ka i got ojs belt
my frined swiped it when oj went to jail

how much 700$

motha f**ka i got ojs belt suck it suck it i got ojs belt
motha F**ka i got ojs belt jay from vegas
yea
how much
400$ good deal right

By: ja rile

ja rile — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:41:20 +0000

trudy nice thong by the way
id wear one to but huge bikket of pubes

By: Kyle

Kyle — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:31:51 +0000

Junior: We’re talking about you giving hand jobs at three bucks a pop at this red light up here that’s what we’re talking about.
Terry: Okay okay, a hand job is still a job, okay?
Dangle: Come on easy does it, Xanadu it right into the car.
Terry: You Xana-Don’t it!
Dangle: Did he just say “Xana-Don’t it?”

By: Joy Johnson

Joy Johnson — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:24:56 +0000

[On winning the lotto]

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I have an announcement to make. Suck my big black d**k. I won the f**king lotto, I’m a f**king millionaire and I don’t have to f**king sit here anymore and listen to your bulls**t, you f**king faggot.