We’ve covered the pain ray before — millimeter wave radiation emitted from a dish that excites the water in the top layers of your skin. It heats you up something fierce, but technical issues and widespread protestation of the use of such a ridiculous weapon has forced the Pentagon to aim it at something a little less likely to complain: geese.
Now, if you’re in the northwest like me, you know that Canadian Canada geese, while great-looking birds and majestic creatures, are a huge pain in the ass. They bite kids, they crap all over the place, and they never stop honking. So while I normally don’t advocate shooting pain rays at animals, this is probably the best non-lethal way of making sure those things don’t come back.
Actually, the “avian denial system” would be used mainly at airports, to keep flocks of birds from interfering with takeoffs and landings. I just kind of wanted to get a dig in there against the geese.
I also happen to have a more lenient stance on its use than most people. It’s not like Dune’s pain box or something, it’s reportedly like touching a hot light bulb with your whole body, and you’re never hit for longer than a second (usually because you jump the hell out of there). Not that I want it to be deployed the next time I’m marching in support of this or that, but I don’t think it’s the death ray everyone thinks it is. What do you guys think?
Geese are awful. They pave the earth in their crap, and wander around on the street. As far as biting kids goes, I just taught my 3 year old to run at them screaming at the top of his lungs. He has a great time and the geese stay away from him, so everybody wins. Except old people. They hate that shit.
Amen, my brother.
Bump up the power and cook the bastards.
It would be illegal. Actually a felony in most states since it does induce intentional pain in the animal. Who are you gonna get to run it Michael Vick?
its another way to give a big government contractor my tax dollars. Its what 30 or 40 grand for one of these and then add another 50 to 60 k more for upkeep, salary, and vehicle costs. Or you could hire a border collie service to visit the site 3 or 4 times a week for about 20 grand. No goose problem, no animal rights activists picketing, no court cost, and you save 30 to 40 grand a year.
The pain ray is not really a humane option. The birds are protected under international treaties.
lol
You want to talk about a waste of taxpayer dollars? Why the hell would it cost $20,000 to get a dog out on a runway 3 or 4 times a week?? It only costs me $15 a day to have someone walk my dogs while I’m at work – less than $4,000 a year.
And what about all the times when the dog isn’t there? What happens when a flock of geese unfamiliar with the fact that a dog tends to be out there decides this looks like a good place to take a break, but the dog is out doing what ever else it is border collies have to do?? It sure would be nice to have a permanent piece of equipment in place to deter such geese.
And what about the geese in the air? What is a border collie going to do against a flock of geese that’s about to fly into the path of a landing jet?? This system, while momentarily causing discomfort to the geese, could potentially save people’s lives. Not every pilot is as skilled (or lucky) as Chesley Sullenberger – the guy who landed the jet on the Hudson after geese took out both his engines.
Hey. It costs money to drive to the base, feed the dogs, house the dogs, train the dogs, keep the dogs healthy, and pay taxes on what I earn.
Its not an easy job. These are not your ordinary dogs from the pound especially since a fully trained Border collie runs $6 to $10 k to buy. It takes years to properly train a dog and handler. Would you get medical attention from a temp they just pulled in off the street? No you would go to a doctor and you would pay for it.
Everyone thinks this is an easy job. Here is your clue, its not. You could not and would not do what I do. I have spent years studying goose behavior and control technics. I have to file federal documents and make sure I am operating within local, state and federal law. I have to deal with clients, DNR, US fish and Wildlife and the public.
I love my job, but frankly I’m not going to do it for minimum wage.
20,000 divided by 52 weeks Div by 4 time a week div by 4 hours (including drive time) is about 25$ an hr. Your going to eat $10 to $15 of that for businness expenses and taxes. You end up with $10 to $15 an hr for profit. You can’t feed a family of 4 for that in the Washington DC area.
Someone walks your dog for you? How nice. Have you ever watched a dog walker? They usually have like 5 to 10 dogs they are walking at a time. That means that at $15 a dog they are making like $30 to $75 an hr to walk dogs. But you think $15 an hr to move geese off a runway is too much?
Unlike the dog walker I can only do one client at a time. I reduce the goose population by 98 to 99 %, that’s more effective than the USDA’s lethal goose control program. What happens when my dog is not there. Well lets see last night I went to a client who had about 1000 geese when I started the control program 3 years ago. They had 0 geese and have had 3 total since mid June. Another client with a similar start number had 33 geese today and that was the high number since the migration early this fall. What happens is that they move off and generally stay away. Small numbers may come back, but since I also come back they do not stay.
And least we not forget the other point I made Bird strikes are not a significant problem. Yes a commercial plane was hit, at an airport that had been shooting geese for more than a decade, but that was a fluke. It was also during the birds annual migration north. I knew the birds were flying in big groups, but the FAA seemed surprised. Planes are statistically more likely to hit another aircraft than they are to hit a bird that will do harm.
This whole issue is a great big tax dollar give away. Never mind the fact that targeting the Canada Geese with this would be a felony. It is illegal to intentionally inflict pain and suffering on an animal no matter what the justification is.
” It is illegal to intentionally inflict pain and suffering on an animal no matter what the justification is.”
You’re probably the biggest idiot to ever post here. Your punishment? A perfectly legal cattle prod, taser, shock collar, choke chain, or horsewhip until you grow a brain.
It’s Canada Geese/Canada Goose NOT Canadian.
I am not joking you in that I doubted myself as I wrote it. I’ll make the correction, and I appreciate your vigilance.
You mean Canadia right?