Anyone who’s had to deal with co-workers in any capacity knows that kids trump all office-related priorities, leaving those of us without kids to do most of the heavy lifting while working parents leave for five hours every day to chauffeur their little, jobless a-holes to the emergency room every time one of them sneezes.
Now’s the time to furnish your own cubicle with a free, unlimited “get out of work” pass. The $20 Office Kid kit contains a framed photo of an impossibly cute child, a seemingly hand-drawn picture of your non-existent family, and a metal lunchbox full of excuses you can use to free up an afternoon whenever you feel like it.
If your boss seems to have a slightly elevated level of intelligence, you can purchase additional stuff to throw him or her off the trail: extra child-like artwork, a photoshopped sports team photo, official-looking doctor’s notes, and the like. You also choose the gender and ethnicity of your child. Congrats in advance on your new family!
The Office Kid [TheOfficeKid.com via Neatorama]
That’s great, throw in a couple funeral pics of grandma, and I think you’ve got a product… :)
“leaving those of us without kids to do most of the heavy lifting while working parents leave for five hours every day”
I get it, you’re trying to be funny. As is the purveyor of this amazing CrunchGear worthy blogpost.
But as a working parent, I may leave early (630 or 7) to spend an hour with the kid before he goes to sleep, but I seem to recall working from his bed time past midnight, then working again from 6am until he gets up to spend another hour with him before I leave for work for the day. Let’s not forget I spend a week a month on the road working where I don’t see him at all, except for the occasional video chat. Not to mention, I’m on call 24/7.
schmuck.
Rob
You need to learn to take a joke and relax.
Idiot
if joke = cylindrical meat, i think rob definitely taken has taken a lot in…
rob lighten up. i thought this was a funny product. i have kids myelf and i don’t to justify my existence by using the ‘working parent’ bit. get over it. ur kid will also benefit from the attitude adjustment.
I bet your kids love spending time with you and that awesome attitude you have.
No one cares. it’s not our fault you have kids. Don’t make us work harder because you chose to have these little bundles of “joy”
Did it not occur to you that you don’t have enough time to spend with your son before you made the decision to have children? Nobody twisted your arm to procreate – stop whining.
What kind of moron takes a blog post like this seriously?
This is awesome. My friend did the fake wedding ring / husband for years to keep her boss in check. While it didn’t work though – I can see it working for others.
Personally, I always use the “Sorry, need to walk the dog excuse!”
Wow they have kid excuse kits?! How funny, reminds me of what I would see at a Spencer Gift Store. Thanks for the interesting fun topic.
Doug’s blog makes a point. Kids have become the ultimate excuse to get out of work. I have seen people really work the hell out the kids for time off. I honestly am surprised that some of these kids are still alive after the number of doctors appointments and the likes.
As for Rob… Don’t blame us because you feel guilt for the lack of time you spend with your children. If you are really going in at 6:30am and leaving after 7pm that’s your fault not ours. I have often found that people that put in those kind of hours generally do it because they don’t actually want to be at home.
Ill take 2 of these kits… I always wanted twins. Then I can take 2x the time off that other parents do.
“Yeah I wont be in today. Gotta take Timmy and Timmy2 to the doctors.”
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