Nintendo! What are you doing? Don’t get us wrong, it’s great that you’re shipping the black Wii remote to North America sometime this month. Our white ones are getting kind of dingy after a couple years of drunk Wii bowling. But what do we have to do to get the black Wii?

Do we have to unlock some special Pokemon? Beat Reggie at Mario Kart? What is it? Because, yes, the black controllers are nice, but the black system is hotness defined. Also, don’t even think about pricing the black peripherals different than the current white ones. That’s something Sony and Microsoft would do and you don’t wanna be like them, right?