It was only two weeks ago that the Windows 7 Launch Party video cut a burning swath across the internet, leaving only scorched sensibilities and a feeling that you’d lost something fundamental never to be regained. We lied to ourselves then that it couldn’t be more than a blip on the radar, a PR pitch gone awry and furtively uploaded, unfit for human consumption as it was — a tainted morsel of the promotional meat grinder. And to be honest, I was ready to let it lie. But it wasn’t just a morsel. Little did we know, the Windows 7 launch sausage factory would be squeezing gristle into our inboxes regularly — and now they’ve gone and sent us party favors.
Behold the signs you’re to hang on your cursed abode when the dread night comes. Behold the guide to family-friendly entertainment (show your guests how to turn your party into a movie!). Nervous about being a host? I know Matt is. Maybe he should bone up on Microsoft trivia so he’ll be a hit at the party.
Whoever put this campaign together is the Tiger Woods of fail. It’s heinous! First, how did they expect people to do these parties? Without irony? No, that was never an option. Or rather, they removed it from the list of options we had as soon as they made that faux-earnest video. Second, and I know this was pretty much settled in the comments of the video post, but that video is a goddamn travesty of the first order. I just wanted to have that registered here, officially. Thirdly, who put this website together?
These are supposed to be signs that you print? Since when is it even possible to make a 379KB JPEG with such bad aliasing that the nerdy guy from the video gets crazy eyes? Let’s take a closer look at the printable PDF. Please click the following to see just how bad it is.
Who puts out official promo materials you’re supposed to print, at such low resolution that it’d be pixelated if I printed it out at 3×5″, let alone poster-size? And look at the Windows 7 logo! Nice white drop shadow you’ve got there!
But the nitpicking really isn’t necessary. The very concept of these “favors,” the very idea that you are supposed to take this thing seriously, is a harpoon to the very heart of humanity. I have nothing against Microsoft (except, of course, for this, now) but if this is their best attempt at fulfilling the needs of their customers at such a critical time as an operating system switch, it’s a catastrophic, grotesque, mind-boggling failure.
They do have PDF’s available to print that you can access by clicking on Download and then Download again.
It’s confusing and not user friendly but it’s there.
that’s what i took the screenshot from!
If you took it from the pdf you’re doing it wrong..
It’s vector
http://www.upload.mn/view/z1m89tmfu387pmxnx5n5.png
the logo is, but not the photo.
Shut up, Erik. You’re not changing Devin’s point.
He’s probably using Ghostscript on Linux which sucks donkey balls for rendering stuff like this. No wonder the logo didn’t display correctly for him. Had he been using a proper operating system and proper PDF display software, the logo would have turned out perfectly.
Actually the most confusing thing is who actually thinks this will remotey affect the huge sales volume that W7 is going to shift, demolishing everything in its path like an almighty juggernaut.
Anyone?
i love it. its a seth godin wet dream.
I don’t care how cheesy it is – I am a host and getting a free Windows 7 Ultimate – that’s all that matters and why I think this was a great idea!
hahahaha. this is hilarious. what a FAIL
http://www.traderbots.com/stocks/Stock.aspx?symbol=msft
That’s not a white drop shadow. That’s the logo being anti-aliased against a white background, then placed on top of a blue background.
yeah, it’s bad magic wand work. makes it look like a white drop shadow.
Except that there wasn’t any shadow involved. And there wasn’t any drop (the offset typically used in a drop shadow). And that it looks more like a white border. Or I could see it more likely being mistaken it for a white outer glow.
Aside from all that, yeah… it looks EXACTLY like a drop shadow.
It doesn’t look exactly like a drop shadow or you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Yeah, we all know that… It was just DC being sarcastic… Anyway, the first time I saw this “party” thing I really thought it was a joke from someone else (not MS), but then realized they were actually doing this…
There’s nothing sarcastic about calling a white border a drop shadow. Had he said “Nice drop shadow fail…” then it could have poked fun that they couldn’t even get a drop shadow correct. As it is, this is simply DC’s terminology fail.
It’s not a white border, man, it’s the shadow under the windows flag. You can see that it’s separate if you look at the full-size picture. it was a slight shadow on a white background in the source, and their magic wand caught it. Thus, white drop shadow and the joke. no fail.
Shut up, Nick. Devin’s point remains that the graphic looks bloody hideous. Stop using semantics to protect Microsoft from criticism it wholly deserves in this case.
That video, and its allied promotional literature, is a horror.
Sorry delacroix this time Devin is wrong.. If you look at the pdf, it’s VECTOR and it is definitely not a white drop shadow. Unless 100% white drops are drop shadows suddenly.. DC fail!
well at any rate I was criticizing the photo for its pixellation, not the logo.
as for the logo, vector or not it’s a graphic meant for a white background, that’s why it looks so terrible here – not due to resolution issues. though it wasn’t a magic wand error as i thought.
Shut it, Erik. Devin’s point that it looks pixellated and awful remains. And what is VECTOR, you moron? A PDF may be vector-based but that doesn’t mean the originating image or document was a vector before being put through Acrobat. You put a standard mid-resolution image through Acrobat, even with high settings, and you’ll end up with a pixellated mess at increased resolutions.
WTF Delacroix.. We are talking about the logo here.. It;s sharp as hell.. And “let alone poster-size” it would be more obvious that it is not a “magic wand error”… Ever used a magic wand on a vector image? Still DC’s fail..
Erik, you irritating little troll, the quality of the image is in question and the quality of the image was awful. Just accept it and go back to sleep under your bridge. I never said it was a ‘magic wand error’, though I wish I had one to magic you away. Devin’s point was about quality, and his point remains. And yes I have used a magic wand on a vector image because Photoshop supports mixing both bitmap and vector in the same canvas. Erik is Failure’s middle name.
Delacroix.. You’re devin’s boyfriend or something??? The picture is bitmap? DUH!! But Devin failed to notice the rest is vector when he made those remarks about the logotype and he is now to proud to admit it.. Sure they could umph up the resolution of the picture but on printed on letter size it isn’t all that bad.. Where they expecting people to print this on their personal A2 printers? I guess not! Sure, I hate MS but this is definitely not the “fail” to write a post about..
Erik, we are grateful for you reiterating your point over and over again in the hope that you will make your mark on the little world of this article.
Unfortunately, everyone can see you’re a complete fraud, intent only to slate Devin on a small mistake he made which doesn’t materially affect his opinion that Microsoft have failed.
Failed to ensure quality in their promotional literature; failed to encourage people to take them seriously; and failed to have enough presence of mind to notice that the video they commissioned is unremittingly awful.
I didn’t realise toes ACTUALLY curled when confronted by such embarrassment. I’m now being treated by a podiatrist.
No, I am not Devin’s boyfriend, you homophobic freak, but I admit that Devin is cute and would be up for a date.
DC post = boring
Erik comments = redundant
Delacroix = total pussy bitch
Matt Burns Weed = excruciating turd
These would be great Halloween decorations! I can hang them up all over my house and people would be terrified to visit! Some might even die laughing!
I want to shake the hand of the person directly responsible for putting this campaign together. It was obviously a joke, and I salute him/her.
No, that’s not Microsoft’s worst failure. If you want to talk about Microsoft PR blunders ask me what the Microsoft evangelist told me at their event here in Los Angeles.
Ask me, because I’ve been waiting to tell someone.
Okay. What did he ask you? ;) I’m not DC, but want to know what could be their worst failure…
Or told you… Whatever… :)
Since you asked….
Standing in a warm room at the LA Convention Center with 200+ women there for a Microsoft “breakout session” aimed at Women in tech, the evangelist (who was missing some much needed teeth) started fanning himself with a paper and commented that the room was warm because all the women were simultaneously hot flashing.
I left.
Immediately.
Maybe he was trying to put a drop shadow on the conversation.
I wonder if anyone caught that on video. It would make for some entertaining youtubing.
That story is worthy of a house party spoof video of its own.
Huh? What? Microsoft has a new OS? What was wrong with XP?
I think they’re actually releasing Windows XP Plus! you know, with 10 new icons and wallpapers…
OMG… that’s too funny! XP Plus! With 10 new icons and wallpapers.. I’m cryin’… too funny!
Also available on XP Plus:
- Minesweeper 3D
- Solitaire Network Competition Version
- Paint Essentials
- Voice Recognition Character Palette
- DOS Mode
- Notepad Professional
Features not included:
An OS that’s so fucked up it needs two service packs within a month or so of release.
Boom!
They are just targeting their market!
Dumb is as dumb….. Shit forgot the rest of my product “strategry” class.
Where do I sign up for the TechCrunch House Party? I can’t wait to see that video!
Anyone for Linux Upgrade Parties on the … 23rd — for the irony — and to help the people that have become lost in the jungle of Win7 upgrades?
I think that’s the sort of thing best done from the privacy of each Linux user’s own subterranean computer lair.
Well, true as that might be, I was thinking of those that aren’t actually fluent in geek to want some [or possibly somewhere in the range of some to a fuckton of] help with their new computers running Win7 (I know it’s supposed to be stable[r] than earlier ones, but it’s still MS/Win), which would draw linux-users out in the open and away from their natural habitat anyways.
The dude who thought up these trivia questions is probably the same dude who developed Best Buy’s anti-Mac and anti-Linux training materials, too!
If you look at all of the commentary generated by this campaign, I wonder if this all wasn’t a very clever and intentional effort on the part of MSFT.
i.e. producing a cheesy “PR” campaign destined to become a “win-win”
Win; because normal “John Q User” won’t probably “get it”.
Win; Though leaders (geeks) will spend a bunch of time stirring up noise about how over-the-top nature of the campaign.
Result: John Q User is reminded about the upcoming launch, and the buzz around the net is about “Windows 7″.
Is every thread but another vessel for MSFT propaganda?
=P
You may be on to something there. They did, after all, make those smashingly successful Jerry Seinfeld commercials that got everyone talking about Windows Vista.
…and TC’s enthusiastic participation in Microsoft’s “We’re So Lame!” advertising campaign continues unabated. I’m guessing most people now know that there’s a new version of Windows coming, or is here, or was released recently.
I just want my Win 7 ult. I dont think people will truly have a party. Im sure MS knows that as well.
The best windows campaign was for windows 1.0 featuring steve ballmer lol
“First, how did they expect people to do these parties?”
This was enough for me to conclude this person lacks information on the subject but he well criticizes the Windows 7 Party Launch.
Dude, you should really get informed about the fact Microsoft sent invitation so people could applied to be a host and in return they’d give a pack full with party stuff + Windows 7 Ultimate, absolutely FREE
Second of all, Microsoft didn’t eve do those ads, they were done by HouseParty.com, get informed guys!
how as in “in what manner” is the way it’s meant to be read
Seriously Devin…the jokes on you. Do check out HouseParty.com here: http://houseparty.com/windows7usa
That’s the site I linked to in the article… I’m aware of what the house parties are. Our writer Matt is signed up for one. Just because it doesn’t come directly from MS doesn’t mean it’s not MS. They outsource PR and advertising like crazy.
Devin’s right.
Steve Ballmer is batshit insane. May he rule over MS until he runs the business right out of business. They the masses will not have to suffer with Windows anymore.
it is the stupidest thing ever. they expect you to host these parties with these cheesy “favors”. msft may be the best software company out there, but is absolutely the worst when it comes to marketing and advertising. which i suppose goes to show that a good product makes up for bad marketing?
maaan it is SOOOOO baaad. they seem to overestimate their importance… thats the only explanation…. I mean seriously….
Who do they have in the marketing dept. Martha Stewart????
1. This is the worst Microsoft video since Balmer’s Windows 1.0 infomercial (http://bit.ly/fZsHo).
2. Having been given the generous gift that is this video, this is the best put-down you guys could come up with? Yammering on about drop shadows and photo resolution? Sigh.
3. I would like to see a version of this video that starts out the same way as the Microsoft version but gradually devolves into an orgy.
1. agree
2. disagree
3. agree
There is a new ruling that bloggers now must disclose incentives and pay tax on them or face huge fines.
It will be hilarious if some of these who sell there souls for a free copy of Windows 7 Ultimate end up having to pay many times over that amount.
Could you help our goverment balance its budget by reporting all you see who are in violation of that rule during the Windows 7 launch?
@nooobss : agree :)
When I first ran Windows Vista I had problems left and right (on a new machine supposedly certified for Vista -even with ‘Areo’).
Such a joke.
But I did a rebuild recently and its very very smooth, I suspect this is because of:
Vista Business + 1 gigabyte of updates + Service Pack 1 + Service Pack 2 + more updates.
IMHO it runs now the way it should have from the get go.
Now is Windows 7 a step backward, or really just a compilation of all of the above + ‘XP mode’ (a crippled VM not capable of running DirectX) and a UAC that doesn’t prevent multitasking with a modal dialog that annoys the f’ outta you (or is that still there too)?
From houseparty.com:
“Windows 7 Launch Party… Global!”
Yeah, right. “Global” as in twelve selected countries.
Think of it people. The single, sole, only purpose of a Windows 7 advertising campaign is to get people aware of the product launch.
In Australia, one of the worst, cheapest and most unimaginative TV ads is by JB Hifi, and that pathetic ad has launched JB to become one of the most successful retail companies in Australia. It gets people’s attention because the ads are so pathetic. Usually, that standard of ad is seen on late night TV, but these were prime time ads. You’d think – if JB paid so much money for prime air time, wouldn’t they make a nicer ad. Well, the results are that people remember.
In contrast, there are gazillion artistic ads that are so beautiful, but you can’t even remember them, let alone who or what they were advertising.
This Windows launch party has fulfilled the number one aim of an ad campaign — to generate interest. Full marks to the strategist.
Seriously, there is no way that a slick, beautiful-graphics ad campaign would have generated the same level of awareness.
Top marks, Microsoft. Top marks.