“Dewey defeats Truman.” “Ford to City: Drop Dead.” “1,000-plus people crowd new Microsoft Store.” Great headlines are rarely forgotten and they are made all the greater by the their cultural import. To wit: Microsoft’s new store in Mission Viejo was a rousing success, bringing 1,000 sleepy-eyed Mission Viejoians out to see people in blue and yellow shirts. In fact, it was so popular the American Eagle Outfitters store in the Shops at Mission Viejo mall was empty. Empty, friends. Not since the great Taco Bell grease fire of ought-one has the AEO gone empty.
Obviously the OC Register understood the significance of this opening as they reported it from stem to stern. From the countdown from seven (”Let’s count down from seven for Windows 7!” exclaimed Kevin Turner, chief operating officer for Microsoft.) to the performance by Canadian pop star Justin Bieber at 5pm in the parking lot, every point on the press release Microsoft handed out was covered. Even Mayor Frank Ury rocked the party with a rousing declaration:
“We’re first in the state in public safety and now we’re first in the state with a Microsoft Store,” he said. “I’m excited that 100 new jobs have been created in Mission Viejo and I think it’s a wonderful location for Microsoft to pick.”
To this I say “Hell, yeah, Frank Ury! Also remember, on the aggregate, your consumer-constituents are richer ($103,770.00 median income) and a store in a poorer area would be counter-productive to Microsoft’s sales goals. Placing it in a city like San Francisco would also invite the homeless in to surf the web, and we all see what that’s done for Apple Stores what with all the Facebooking and porn browsing going on.”
It has always been my hope that I would live to see a Microsoft store in the US. For years my grandfather spoke to me of the glories of the coming Windows 7 revolution. He spoke of video screens wrapping around the walls, absolute freedom for all men and women, and $25 Zune Pass gift cards for all. He died at the hands of the secret police before this dream could come true for him. It came true for me – and my children – however, and I dedicated this moment of silence to his memory. Papi: If you’re in heaven, looking down, remember to buy the right Windows 7 version for your needs and do not use your original OEM license to upgrade to Win7. It’s illegal.
It’s always nice when the cynical whinging of fanboys is crushed by the cold hard fist of reality.
Still you can always write a desperate and bitter article in a blog about the success of the venture, thus showing yourself up as a colossal hypocrite because you were busy fapping over – Christ, not literally I hope! – the crowds the product launch of a competitor’s product at their store.
Can’t you, John?
i’m just getting warmed up!
Hoorah!
I can’t wait for the encore!
i wanna hear more crying.. cry me a river..
Individuals like Mark A are curse not only for the people but to entire planet. Show u r hatred somewhere else troll. People like u cannot see something good going on and always search for negativity to show your unsuitable hatred.
Or, in other words, you’re a crying little pussy.
And u Mark A are an unerectable dick aren’t u? Useless scum.
Is your last name Biggs because you come from a long line of compensators? Hard to believe, because I think you are such a bigg dick.
Out of curosity I went there yesterday and was pleasantly surprised by the store. The environment was inviting, advance technology was presented in an open easy to use manner, and the employees were very helpful. I don’t expect the store to set sales records, but I can see shoppers viewing it and the items presented as a enjoyable experience; all of which is a plus for MS.
Everyday life must be incredibly dreary in Viejo.