Cold, miserable winters are about the best time to create some heat with a loved one… or yourself. If you’re picturing a bear skin rug and roaring fire, well, things have come a long way. We’re talking about couples toys and technology to keep things spicy, even in the coldest weather.
Warm Up
Everyone knows that sex is all about foreplay. (Guys, we know this, right?) Rather than going zero to 60 in ten minutes, incorporate some fun winter toys to get you and your partner in the mood.
Massage Oil Heater
Channel your inner 70’s porn star with the Pure Gel Bottle Warmer and avoid a “this is going to be cold” Dr.’s office moment. This baby even warms multiple bottles so you can bust out different flavored lubes or massage oils based on your beau’s preferences.
Philips Warm Sensual Massager
If your date didn’t run screaming when he or she saw the heated oil contraption, it’s fair game to whip out the Philips Warm Sensual Massager for him or her. Even if it seems lame, there’s nothing that gets you in the mood more than a massage. Hands down. What makes this vibrating massager different is the fact that it heats up and is specifically designed for couples use. It even comes with some cheesetastic LED candles for “setting the mood.” Hot.
The Main Event
When you’re ready for the main event, trust these toys to keep your session extra hot.
Durex Play Warming Lube
The winter is the perfect time for some heated lube. Durex Play Warming Lube is designed to heat up with your own body temperature and get hotter with contact to heighten sensation. This lube is something that your lady will primarily feel, but don’t worry guys you will feel it too, like warm apple pie. Thankfully, it’s completely edible and the heat intensifies when you blow on it. Some people may complain that it’s too hot, but I say if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!
The Hot Rod Heated Vibrator
No matter how realistic your vibrator may be, the one thing that’s always missing is the sensation of body heat that you get from a partner –Sigh- Thank you Hot Rod Heated Vibrator for providing us with a heated vibrator complete with realistic skin sleeve that makes using it comparable to the real thing. You really never need a date again.
Vibrating Heated Nipple Clamps
For the truly daring, give these Vibrating Heated Nipples Clamps a try. Apparently nipple clamps are designed for men or women to stimulate your nipples, leaving your hands free to do other things. Will the vibration and sensation be enough to keep your headlights beaming and warm?! Give it a try and see.
Cool Down & Clean Up
If the pre-show and main event left you feeling dirty, jump in the shower for some post game clean up. Because what’s better than a warm hot shower on a cold winter day…
Suction Cup Shower Handcuffs
These Suction Cup Shower Handcuffs offer couples that dominatrix moment in the tub or shower. The cuffs are made of sturdy neoprene and Velcro with industrial strength suction cups that can easily adhere to a shower door or wall tiles. What flat surface you attach them to out of the shower is none of our business.
Vibrating Sponge
Because obviously a regular loofa isn’t going to suffice this winter, grab a vibrating sponge to surprise your extra dirty lover. This vibrating sponge looks and feels like a normal sponge, but is sooo much more. Waterproof with a bullet vibrator hidden deep within, the sponge even has a hand strap for maximum control. Soap up and get dirty! This device is also a great if your love making session didn’t quite do it and you need to step away for some much needed alone time.
For more about the latest sex toys and technology, check out 69adget.com
Alright, that’s enough with the 69adget.com plugs. It is quite clear that someone at CrunchGear has a stake in the website (really a blog with few posts and all crap anyway) or brand that is going nowhere. Maybe some disclosure is necessary? Keep in mind I didn’t say dis-clothe-sure. What exactly is going on? Is it a Crunch Buddy with a crappy idea – getting some greasy palms from the editors or what?
Yeah, she’s got loads of money. Lydia met one of our guys and wanted a chance to post some of her stuff. I figured you guys _occasionally_ thought about sex and that it might be nice to have a woman’s take.
Added bonus: With her millions in freelance income she sends us $10,000 per click, which is KICKASS.
You can start a sex toy blog and maybe we’ll let you guest post if its better.
Hey, thanks for the info Jason. So are all your girlfriends millionaires? Lucky for you, or maybe more-so for them since they can plug their pet projects on every CrunchGear page. All joking aside (not really)… who’s backing this little venture? I don’t guess Michael will be speaking publicly on the matter. Just between you and me though, he’s footing the bill right?
Your offer/challenge is enticing, I do enjoy sex and kinda enjoy blogs for that matter. However I think that there are plenty of sex blogs, sites, videos, pics, kink, oddities and whatnot on the web already. I actually was under the impression that porn was and still is the foundation of the ‘internets’. So that being said I think that forming a competitive, much less a comparative advantage in the sextainment industry is a little difficult to say the least. I can see why 69adget is trying to find its niche by introducing products from the Japanese market to the porn-hungry, loyal admirers of CrunchGear; so way to go, you are helping everyone out, what a selfless act.
Anyway back to your proposal; I could come up with several blog ideas that might make it in that tight spot you guys have for sex over at CrunchGear. How about I even try for a blog that stays on topic and tosses the irrelevant and repetitious links to underdeveloped, niche blogs out to make a few pennies from the innate sexual curiosity of the masses?
Or better yet, I would make a revolutionary attempt to create a source for informed, intelligent dissection of the state of technological innovation. Why, I think, wait, I would, I would call it CrunchGadget! Eureka, that’s it! Granted I might be catering primarily to the few technophiles out in web-er web-er land, not currently enthralled in the throws of passionate ona-cupping.
I would post all kinds of crazy stuff like the iPhone, Apple, Google, twitter, Michael Arrington, the iPhone, android, Michael Arrington, google wave, twitter, seesmic, google, Sequoia Venture partners, twitter, Michael Arrington, google wave, google voice, google labs, google earth, google sex and even dogster.
Of course I would really, really, really try hard, hard, hard not sell out to the ‘man’ or ‘woman’ that offers whatever favor it is that they do these days to get their flailing blog ‘career’ a boost.
You know, I am quite sure that chronic references to and “guest contributor” status of a blogger can be quite helpful to the underachievers and wayward writers (see Scobleizer). I am considerably apprehensive to the act of granting celebrity to un-celebratory acts and contributions to my blog; such a sell out might tarnish an otherwise reputable site.
So how about that blog? I cant afford 10k in CPCs so I guess I will work it off washing the dishes and soiled undies of the crunchers down there at CruchQuarters. Will that work? I would love to have a meaningless blog that only has outbound links and is populated by aggregated content. Heck I will even hire some recent journalism grads to put their names on our rehashed stories from PR Newswire. Sound about right?
You think I can get an appointment with a big wig on Sand Hill Rd.? I desperately need some seed funds for my numerous and grandiose plans for entrepreneurial ventures. And why shouldn’t I get a piece of that pie? After all I am only 5 minutes away. Come to think of it, I have often wondered why the VCs don’t just give me a call for a little input or perhaps an executive position at any of the struggling start-ups holding all their nickels.
I must admit my digression, so back to sex I go, the topic that is. If it is a sex toy blog that TC has always needed, it is a sex toy blog I can give. Let the flood gates open because I have a ‘closet’ full of every sort of clamp, clip, dip, drop, shove, thrust, and squeeze-a-ma-bob toy out there. I will do my best to report on any battery powered device within the infinite sea of horny, lustrous, geek-grabbing, technology that is the ‘internets’. And I will not rest until every reader rests assured that there will be no pictures of kittens in a teacup here.
Mr. Biggs, I look forward to our cooperation, and appreciate your prompt reply. I am confident that we are on track for a solid and profitable future together.
Interestingly, there’s not a single affiliate tag in her list and perhaps, just perhaps, she is trying to write intelligently about sex.
Tim, you have way too much time on your hands. Maybe get one of those winter sex toys so you wont be so bored
You are correct Sir. I also have no cash in my hands so if any sex-toy makers want to send a promo unit out to me I am all for it. I can blog away all day. -Unemployed in CA
Well then john, perhaps this is not the outlet on which she should be providing that intelligent dissertation. After all, this is CrunchGear.
I recall a while back that someone had been questioning why a certain item was on the site (can’t recall which article) and I believe it was you that responded with the legitimate response along the lines that it was demonstrating technological innovation, and it was indeed a new gadget -albeit one not normally featured here.
Well it appears that you are defenseless in the case of the 69adget articles, I recall the “DIY sex tape”, and more particularly the article above that doesn’t seem to be offering any new gadgetry whatsoever – vibrating nipple clamps? warming lube? Granted, a heated vibrator and a vibrating sponge are news to me but I am quite certain of no interest to the CruchGear demographic.
Now, The Tenga that was reviewed a while back – dead on. The article and the subject were interesting, new, innovative, and informative. I must admit looking quite deeply (no pun intended) into procuring one for my own evaluation, no doubt something many of your readers might also have done.
Regarding 69adget.com, I want to be be clear, previous criticism of the site and its author was a bit harsh but loaded by the fact that it was becoming quite clear that the articles were advertisements deviating from the journalistic code of ethics.
One mention, in an article (perhaps it was the source that featured a gadget) of 69adget, expected; two mentions, acceptable. But when the whole article is merely a link to 69adget.com – which by the way is monetizing its site with Adsense and I assume other affiliates – The Crunchgear readers are being channeled for profit to an outside network that has no (or should not have) relevance to the readers or the mission of the TechCrunch group of sites.
I spent some time on the site the first time it was mentioned (I read TC, CG and CIT everyday) and I thought the site was visually appealing, tactful, and had all the features and framework in place to become a resourceful addition to my bookmarks. I in fact bookmarked the site. I revisited the site the second time it was featured here as well. I found that the amount of information had not increased but for the article of mention. I have visited the site today, very briefly to find much more content; thats great for the owner of this privately registered site- with a dedicated server.