It’s only a 2GB drive, and it’s pretty expensive at $45, but they certainly are cool. There are two models to choose from, Jaguar on the Decepticon side, and Tigerton from the Autobots.

So is it just me, or were Transformers cooler in the 80’s? I was looking at one at the store the other day, and it just seemed cheap compared to how I remember them.

And there won’t be ANY sex in it.

From the product page.

Disney Princess USB Web Cam is not only a Mirror, but also a web camera. Now, you can always look beautiful when you are videoconferencing with your friend. The mirror contains 7 LED lights surrounding. When it gets the connection, the LED lights and sound will be turned on. It can also be used as a spy web cam since it looks like a funny gadget more than a webcam.

The pen has a pinhole camera, as you can see, which shoots at 640×480. The monitor is actually a fully functioning PMP, with support for a million formats (the controls are on the side; it’s not a touchscreen device) and has an SD slot and built-in speaker. I’m assuming it can record the video from the pen-cam, though that’s not specifically stated.

I know, I know, there are lots of these sorts of things. But this one looks solid, and $150 is a pretty good deal. Brando’s got lots of great stuff like that.

There are a few areas of concern to point out about this $24 “USB Paw Heating Slipper” from Brando. For starters, you’re sticking both your feet into one giant slipper. What happens if you get an e-mail saying that there’s free bagels in the break room? In your haste to save $2, you could very easily trip and fall down.

And since this giant slipper is USB-powered, you run the risk of seriously damaging your computer’s USB Port when the cord gets yanked out after you fall down while trying to beat the rest of the free bagel stampede to the break room.

Finally, this thing heats up to 122 degrees! Is that even safe? Are human feet built to withstand prolonged temperatures of that intensity? I don’t know, I’m not a podiatrist… yet.

USB Paw Heating Slipper [Brando]

I know that jerk was talking about me. I know it. And if he thinks he’s going to get away with this, he’s in for a rude awakening. I know he’s been talking to the watch leader. Excessive use of force. Those damn kids in their hoodies deserved everything they got. Besides, I used a bag of oranges, not a pillowcase full of door knobs.. yet.

I’ll fix him next time. I’ll be watching and recording using the new 8x monocular with a parabolic dish from Brando. I even got a great deal on it, $44.00 plus shipping.

And now to finally get to the bottom of WHO DRANK MY LAST TAB?! This unassuming little clock tells the time and tells you who’s been breaking into your house at night to eat multiple peanut butter, lettuce, and pastrami sandwiches. It’s definitely not you sleepwalking.

The Tiny Spy Camcorder Clock from Brando sells for $47 and features 4GB of storage. Video is recorded in AVI format at 640×480 pixels, 30 frames per second (audio is recorded too) and you’ll use up about 0.8GB per hour of recorded footage. Don’t worry that you’ll run out of space, though, as the battery only lasts two hours.

Tiny Spy Camcorder Clock [Brando]

Oh Brando, you tickle the collective fancy of internet users everywhere with your $177 touchscreen portable media player. It plays back high-definition video files, it can be hooked up to a TV, it doubles as a digital photo frame, and it’s expandable via microSD cards.

It just needs a Wi-Fi chip and a web browser. Granted, the 7-inch screen’s resolution is just 800×480 but some sort of modified browser would get the job done. And there’s no mention of battery life, but most couches are near enough to an outlet to almost make that a non-issue.

Alas, you’ll be at the mercy of your computer’s USB port when it comes to getting content onto the device. There’s 8GB of built-in storage, expandable via 32GB microSD card.

bmorn BM-888 PMP Player [Brando]

This here is called the “Flashlight Speed Holster with Battery Compartment,” brought to you by the good people at Brando. According to the product description, “This Revolutionary Holster allows operators to increase the draw speed of a flashlight!”

Well now. On behalf of everyone in the entire world, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! I’ve been waiting for this thing ever since the first time it took me 2-3 seconds to remove a flashlight from my pocket and/or tool belt.

And the battery compartment? Very nice, verrrrry nice indeed. Those babies will be right there when I need to replace them once every two years.

In all seriousity, there’s probably someone, somewhere who needs this exact product. That seems to be the going theme for most of the stuff Brando sells, actually.

A lone technician in a faraway land cries out, “My kingdom for a Flashlight Speed Holster with Battery Compartment that allows operators to increase the draw speed of a flashlight!”

Brando hears those cries and gets right to work developing the product. And does Brando gouge you when it comes time to pay? No! This one costs just $17.

Flashlight Speed Holster with Battery Compartment [Brando]

Behold! A small step forward in multimedia speakers! This one has a built-in 4.5-inch LCD screen and it only costs $99. According to the product description, the screen is a “high definition color display.” According to me, that’s dead wrong. But who cares? It’s a screen built into a speaker! Hurray!

The USB Multimedia Player Speaker from Brando plays back music files in the following formats: MP1, MP2, MP3, WMA, WMV, WAV, and FLAC. If some of those file extensions look like video formats to you, you’re not alone. Let’s move on, though.

For video formats, we’ve got 3GP, AVI, RM, FLV, and RMVB. If we take MPEG (MP1), MPEG-2 (MP2), and WMV from the audio format list above, we might get a clearer picture of what to expect. Might.

Other features include:

• Electronic book with bookmark function!
• Support manifold language!
• Alarm clock!
• Shortcut time display!
• Calendar function!
• SD/SDHC/MMC cards!
• LINE IN!
• Powered by USB or 4 x AA batteries!

I should also note that the product description says the device has a built-in rechargeable lithium ion battery, yet further down in the product description we see that it takes four AA batteries. Oh, and there’s this picture too:

So let’s put this product in the “Risky for $100″ category, screen or no screen, since it’s not altogether clear what to expect from this device.

USB Multimedia Player Speaker [Brando]

STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES!

STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES! STAB OUT MY EYES!

$19 for 2GB, $20(!!) for 4GB, 8GB for $33. Available now.

Thank God we live in the New West because now, for $14, you can wear a WiFi detecting cap that shows current WiFi levels in your general vicinity. It comes in two styles – circular and, apparently, Engadget- and comes in black, red, or white.

As Brando notes:

Are you always seeking a WiFi signal in the public area? Here comes the 802.11 WiFi Detection Cap! It can detect any Wifi 802.11 b/g/n signal, convenient enough!

Convenient enough, indeed, Brando. Sadly, unlike in the Old West, no one today will gun you down for wearing Satan’s own darkly enchanted chapeau on your pate although if you buy this you certainly deserve a good pistol-whipping

Well look at this, it’s a combination Multi-touch touchpad and a plain ol’ numeric keypad. (Years from now, when we’re all using laptops, or, I guess, touchscreen interfaces, kids will ask, “What’s a keypad?”) It’s from Brando, if you had any doubts at all as to who makes it.

She only works with Windows XP and Vista, not that Mac users will miss it too much.

It’s $40, so, you know…

Speaking of multi-touch, here’s the famous Jeff Han video that’s been floating around for years now.

I like that it’s not simply a flat fan (like you might find in a computer) integrated into the brim, but a fully-formed fan reduced to micro size as if with a shrink ray. The solar panels are sufficient, because in cloudy weather, you won’t need the fan.

Need to make sure no one blackmails your car shop! Press the button and record video! It is a tire clock that looks like a tire and is a camera! 12FPS! $69.

Pinhole Lens
Resolution: 352 x 288 pixel
FPS: 12 frame per second
Recorded file format in AVI
Color Video and Audio
Built-in 2GB Memory
Rechargeable Li-ion battery

I’d love to be a fly on the wall during one of Brando’s product development sessions. This product, for instance, is a folding credit card-sized “light bulb” that appears to be nothing more than a little LED shining upward against some sort of translucent plastic.

Mr. Brando: What do we have cooking in the “things that fit in your wallet category?”

Engineer: Well, not much. Johnson came up with this stupid idea last weekend at, like, 3AM when we were all shitfaced. Get this — it’s a light bulb that folds down and fits in your wallet. Except it’s not really a light bulb, it’s just a dumb plastic doohickey that–

Mr. Brando: Say no more. I want this to hit the assembly lines immediately. Alert CrunchGear. Doug Aamoth will post anything!

Perfect for… I have no idea. I can’t imagine this thing being all that bright. For $10, though, you get what you pay for. Plus some odd looks every time you pull it out of your wallet.

Credit Card Light Bulb [Brando]

A Fake Generic Lighter Spy Camera Camcorder
Color Camera Camcorder
Switcher to control Camera and Camcorder
One press to record and stop
Fast response time and Simple control

This thing has 4GB of storage and the top part flips off to reveal the USB port. Carry it to your next drug deal!

It’s not something for the amateur shooter, but if you like taking pictures at parties, these will make your flash photos way better. Take it from a guy who really sucks at taking flash photos because he won’t invest in some decent kit.

Here’s the full rundown of the kit:
- Soft Diffuser with 6 color Mask
- Honey Comb
- Conical Snoot
- Barndoor
- Mini Reflector
- Globe Diffuser
- Flash Adaptor

That’s a pretty big haul for under a hundred bucks, and it’ll make you look way more professional. Besides, who can say no to cool photo accessories like this? Other than penniless bloggers like me, of course.

Oh Brando, cashing in on Michael Jackson’s untimely death? You’re better than that, Brando.

At any rate, the Thriller Skull Phone is an old-timey standard phone in the shape of a skull with blue LEDs for eyes that light up when the phone rings.

Other features include that it’s tone/pulse switchable. And that’s about it.

The phone costs $25 and is perfect for people who like skulls or Michael Jackson fans who are willing to make the enormous leap that’s required to tie this product in with the King of Pop.

Thriller Skull Phone [Brando]

NEW ROTATION STYLE! MAGIC RUBIK SHAPE BREAKTHROUGH IQ RUMBIK GAME REGGULAR SQUARE CUBE!

The Irregular Magic IQ Cube, the new rotation style, the new format in each face, the new Rubik shape! It is a Break-through of the Traditional IQ Rubik game that is Good Training for your Brain IQ & EQ!! If you are still struggling with the traditional Rubik, just try this new Brain Training Cube. See whether you can make it from an 3D Irregular Geometric Item to be a Regular 3D Square Cube.

# Irregular Magic IQ Cube
# Good for creative thinking & improve both your IQ & EQ
# Hints: Take a Break & Retry it

BOOM! $12 from Brando! GO GO GO!

Secretly taking photos of people is sort of easy to do with a cell phone but it’s probably even easier to do with a Volkswagen-style car key. For $66, Brando will be more than happy to sell you one too.

The Fake Car Key Security Spy Camera captures images at 1280×960 and full motion video at 640×480. Recording is started by hitting the fake lock button on the keyfob itself. There’s a built-in lithium-ion rechargable battery, 2GB of storage, and a mini-USB connection for recharging and dumping the files onto your computer.

That’s right, a state-of-the-art “vedio” recorder.

Fake Car Key Security Spy Camera [Brando]