John:
ThinkPad X60 with WWAN
PowerBook G4
Canon Rebel XT
Kodak V1253 camera and USB cable
iPhone
Sidekick LX

Doug:
Sony Vaio VGN-SZ650N laptop and charger
Kodak V1253 camera and USB cable
Motorola Q (Sprint) and USB cable

Peter Ha:
MacBook
Pentax K100D Super w/ kit lens (18-55mm)
Kingston card reader
Kingston 8GB SDHC
Samsung HMX10
Blackberry Curve
Helio Ocean
Solio charger
Western digital passport 250gb
Novatel/sprint u727
Monster outlet to go 3

Devin Coldewey:
Canon Rebel XT
50mm, 24-85mm, 70-200mm lenses
Helio Ocean
Samsung Trace
Treo 755p
2 USB keys
MacBook Pro + power brick + extender cable
Machiavelli’s The Prince

Matt Hickey:
Hitatchi Magic Wand
Zovorix
Dental Dams

In case you were wondering why our gaming coverage was close to non-existent at CES other than a hands on with Nyko (they saved CES for us in terms of gaming) or the Wü is because it sucked. It was the worst display I’ve ever witnessed at any show. The fact that they called it the ‘Gaming Showcase’ is a joke. There was no showcase other then crappy gaming chairs, stupid case mods, accessories we’ve seen a thousand times over and doodads we just don’t care to see. I know GDC is next month, but there could have been a better showing.

There was however one particular item of interest. It was a 3D gaming mouse that seemed to do some pretty nifty things, but I can’t fill you in on any details. I was denied a press kit. I wasn’t being obnoxious or pushy in any way. I simply asked for a demo and a press kit because I thought it was cool. The rep asked who I was with and even said he’s been to the site on occasion. But they were ‘low on press kits’ and he couldn’t accommodate me. This was on Wednesday. A day before the show ended. Was I missing something? Did I smell bad? Was I being rude by asking for a press kit? Was there a blogger kit that I was unaware of? WTF?!

I’ll leave my comments to myself on this one because it’s not worth ranting about. For you, dear readers, I will link to the site so you can check it out. It’s not fair of me to deny you of that. However, not all PR reps are douches. Most of the ones I encounter are more than willing to get me press releases, interviews, units for review, etc., without ever rearing up their nose at me. This, sadly, was not the case. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will.

Conventional Internet radio hardware devices are about to get a kick in the expensive, cumbersome pants if Cambridge Consultants has anything to say on the matter. I got a quick peek at the pretty-much-ready-to-go Iona Cube concept at CES and I was mightily impressed. If and when this doodad finds a distributor, I can see plenty of these sub-$50 devices flying off the shelves.

Iconic in design, cubic in shape [Press Release]

Sleep experts say that the bedroom should be devoid of distractions like bright lights, television sets, and four 8-inch subwoofers. The Starry Night bed has all of these things. So if you’re like me and you enjoy setting aside a good 2-3 hours of TV time before you fall asleep, this bed might just be a dream come true for you.

There’s a 1080p projector built into the headboard, a Windows Media Center remote, iPod docking station, 1.5 terabytes of storage space, and the aforementioned subwoofers.

If you’d like to actually get some sleep, this tech-laden bed shouldn’t disappoint. Sorry for the misleading headline. It’s got a snoring detection system that, well, detects snoring. When such sounds are picked up by the bed, the side of the mattress that the snoring individual is on is raised by seven degrees. Once the snoring stops, the mattress goes back to the fully horizontal position.

So how much would you pay for all of this? The starting price is $20,000 and goes up to $50,000 depending on how you configure it. It looks like you might also pay for it in the “making sex” department thanks to the split mattress there. Although maybe that could lead to some erotically thrilling new techniques and sequences instead.

Starry Night Bed via Reg Hardware

We saw some pretty amazing stuff, hung out with some cool people, made some tasteless jokes, and made up the word Blounge™. This has been great, and here are a few of the best stories of the show, as picked by me, because everyone else is on an airplane or still too drunk to post.

CES 2008 Exclusive: CrunchGear interviews Penn Jillette about Crackle.com, Mormons, and his choices in technology
LG undouches itself in two short days: The LG Watch/Phone concept photographed

Hands on with the Printstik, the printer that fits in your pocket
Motorized under bed TV mount makes me hate my plain old crappy bed with nothing but crap under it
Michael Douglas loves XStreamHD, so should you

We get a lot of schwag at conferences like CES, some better than others. My favorites, though, came from Belkin, who’s understated schwag bag was brimming with simple Belkin-branded goodies, like these Belkin mints and this Belkin lip balm. Sure, there was a really cool USB hub and other stuff, but the point is they’re smart enough to include useful stuff with their logo. That’s what schwag is supposed to be, so for their achievement, we salute Belkin.

Cooler Master makes pretty decent computer cases, but I’m taking issue with this licensed VW bus case. It’s like this: If you mod your case to become a VW bus, then you’re a college student with too much time to kill who likes Phish and calling people “braugh”, but if you buy it off the shelf like that, then you want to be a college student with too much time to kill who likes Phish and calling people “braugh”, and there’s no legitimate excuse for that.

After much deliberation, we have decided to award the best CES Meatball/Hush Puppy Name Award to young Eric for his entry “Danny’s Glans.” While simply saying “Danny Glans” would have been far more comedically valuable, his contribution to our daily lexicon here at the show is immeasurable and simply mentioning Danny Glans in our company wrought gales of laughter and, dare we say it, a tear or two. To that end, we wish to congratulate Mr. Eric and in passing bid Las Vegas a fond, fond “Adieu.”

Runners up included “Cat5 Köttbullar,” “Little John,” and, most tellingly “Slow News Day.” To all those who entered, we salute you.

After Sony’s announcement, where Penn swallowed a bean and then worked it into his nasal passages and then expunged it via his right eye socket (really), talked about Mormons and their “magical underwear”, and having sex with a nun while a prominent Democratic presidential nominee wathces, we were allowed a couple of minutes to sit with Penn and Crackle’s Senior VP of marketing, Jonathan Shambroom. They were gracious and friendly, and totally NSFW. He started by trashing that other site. It was awesome.

Matt: Thanks for meeting with us lowly bloggers, we appreciate it.

Penn: Yah, thanks for talking to me. Which blog is yours again?

Matt: CrunchGear, the gadget arm of TechCrunch.

Penn: OK, you’re not the one with “gadget” in the title, good! F*** those guys, they keep sending me all kinds of emails, something-gadget. I hate them. Glad you’re not them.

Matt: No, we’re not them. I like your show Bullshi*t though, especially the Bible episode. It’s maybe my favorite episode of anything on cable ever.

Penn: Oh, thanks for that. Thanks a lot, that’s very nice of you.

Matt: So do you guys have a pitch, or can we just ask our questions?

Jonathan: Nope, whatever you want to do, go for it.

Devin: Awesome!

Matt: Yah, that’s maybe not a good thing to say to guys like us. We’ll start talking about things like “2 Girls, 1 Cup” or something.

Penn: “2 Girls, 1 Cup” is nothing, man.

Matt: Have you seen it? I’ve got a copy on my iPod if not.

Penn: I’ve seen it, man. I’m an old carnie, I’ve seen worse in real life. If you really want to watch a video that’ll give you nightmares, google “One Got Fat.”

Jonathan: One gut fat? Like, gut?

Penn: Got. Like became. “One Got Fat”. It was produced by the US Government and they showed it to grade school kids. Watch it and think about that. The stuff I do is tame.

Matt: I’m writing that down. Thanks for that.

Penn: You’re very welcome.

Matt: By the way, just a warning, the guy coming in after us is a Mormon.

Devin: Yeah, we were making fun of Mormons and he mentioned he’s from Utah and we were like, “Um, are you Mormon?” And he is.

Penn: Really!? Great. Thanks. You know, I have friends who’ve f*cked just about everything, catholics, jews, muslims, you name it. But none of them have ever f*cked a Mormon girl. Ex-Mormons, sure, but no Mormons. What is that?

Matt: They’re afraid of going to Hell if they take off their magical underwear.

Penn: I guess so, or something. Why just them? It’s like you’ve got to f*ck your friends just to make sure they’re not Mormon.

Matt [to Devin]: You heard the man, drop trou and let’s see if you’re Mormon. Penn, you want to watch?

Devin: Well they did say we could do anything.

Penn: You think I won’t call your bluff, but you’re mistaken. Let’s see you guys go for it.

Devin: OK, I’m gonna blog it.

Matt: If it’s OK, then let’s start with the technical stuff. Sony’s given you a few cameras, four you said, to record your thoughts. After you’re done with the video, do you have help editing it? Do you give it to someone to clean up or anything?

Penn: Nope, not at all. It records on to one of those little card thingies–

Jonathan: A Memory Stick

Penn: Yah, a Memory Stick. So I put it into my computer and just upload it to the site. That’s it. They add a header and a tail at the end, and I think the legal guys look at it for a minute so they can pull things when I say I’m going to f*ck a nun with Hilary Clinton watching, but otherwise, it’s just me.

Matt: Cool, so it’s “raw” as they say. What format is it going to be shown in? I’m guessing Flash streaming?

Jonathan: Yah, it’ll be — it’s in Flash now. We’re launching with content today, which went live just a few minutes ago.

Matt: Ok, another question, more off topic: Is Teller jealous?

Penn: Is he jealous? Not really. I mean, he’s directing Macbeth right now, which he’s always wanted to do. He’s doing it at the Jersey Theater, and then in DC. He’s doing a supernatural, horror-film take on it, which he’s wanted to do since he was eleven. I’d love to be doing that, but I’m doing this instead. So he’s not jealous of this any more than I am of that. We all do our things and that’s that.

Matt: Well that’s awesome, I saw a vampire-themed version in Olympia years ago that was actually really good.

Penn: Vampires? Wow, I haven’t heard of that one, but I’m sure Teller has, he’s an expert at this stuff.

Matt: When will the video of today’s announcement be available on the Web?

Jonathan: Hopefully later today. This week for sure.

Matt: So you’ve got these cameras, are you going to have one backstage, or does that violate some sort of “Magician’s Code” or something?

Penn: There is no “Magician’s Code.” The code magicians live by is the same as the code you live by and I live by: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. [Yes, he quoted it verbatim, and didn't miss a thing. Rad.] I mean, I could tell you how Criss Angel does half of his tricks but you already know, you go on YouTube.

Anyway, I’ll have the camera, so I can show what I want and not show what I want. It’ll be backstage.

Matt: Well, we’re here at CES. Have you been on the floor yet?

Penn: No, I’m like in that one Beatles movie: I’ve been in a car, a room, a room, a car, a room, a car, a room, a room, a room, a room. I haven’t set foot on carpet not owned by Sony in awhile.

Devin: That might become a pattern.

Matt: Well who has?

Penn: Right. I might check it out. I don’t know.

Matt: Well, that kills my “what have you seen at CES that you like” question, doesn’t it?

Penn: Yah, I guess so. What about you? What have you seen?

Matt: A couple neat phones, but the best thing is the saddle thing from last night.

Devin: Yes! The saddles!

Jonathan: What thing?

[At this point I pulled my camera out and showed them this photo which I offered without comment yesterday.]

Matt: We think it’s some sort of game controller. I hope they are, anyway.

Penn: Those are great! We have to find those!

Jonathan: What do they do?

Devin: Show them the video, dude!

Matt: We took this last night as we were leaving.

[Please, watch the video below. We're still not sure what they're for.]

Penn: That’s great. I don’t know what it is, but that’s great. Wow.

Matt: CES, man. So then, here’s one: What cell phone do you carry?

Penn: Oh, a Treo. This one here. It’s purple.

Matt: That appears to be a 755p, from Sprint.

Penn: I dunno, it’s purple. That’s how I select my electronics.

Matt: Great, that’s just perfect.

Penn: I also have an 80GB iPod and like 3 or 4 Apple TVs at home. I love that thing.

Matt: Me too.

Penn: I’ve got a touch, and I guess it’s a flash-memory thing, but they’re only 16GB. That’s not nearly enough.

Matt: See, that’s the thing: there are two different inds of iPod owners. I have a Touch and it’s fine for me. But you want control over your music and have it all with you all the time. I just fill it up and use it as a soundtrack.

Penn: I guess, I mean, I have a half-terabyte of music at home — all legally purchased, no limewire or anything — and they give me an iPod that’s 80GB and want me to use it. How can I possibly do that? What if I want to listen to Tiny Tim and follow it up with Gladys? I can’t unless I anticipate and load them on there.

Matt: Give it time, it’ll all catch up capacity-wise. We’ve just been given the signal that our time’s up, thanks for doing this with us.

Penn: No thanks, you guys are all right.

Matt: I have a story about Mormon underwear that would blow your mind, but we don’t have enough time. I can try to send it to you over email.

Penn: I don’t email much, but you’re tempting me. I really want to know what the story is with that. I might just let you if my curiosity gets the best of me.

Matt: It has to do with a wedding night and you won’t believe me, but it’s all true.

Penn: I don’t believe you at all. I’ve heard all kinds of stuff about that, and if it’s all true, then it sounds better than “One Got Fat”, so I have to hear it. I don’t email much, but I might have to just because you liked the Bible is Bullshi*t episode. Dammit.

Doug doesn’t like me. Do you see John’s socks?

That’s Devin and Matt bloggin.

That’s me and Mike.

Pics and stuff after the jump.

Belkin Podcast Studio
At last year’s CES, Belkin introduced the TuneStudio, a 4-track recording mixer for your iPod. This year, they busted out a 2-track version aimed at podcasters called Podcast Studio, but it’s still killer for musicians on the go who want to record direct to iPod. It’s way smaller than the TuneStudio, and you can use the built-in mics or your own via XLR or 1/4-inch sockets or 3.5-mm line inputs. Hopefully it won’t take them a year to get it on the shelves like with the TuneStudio, but don’t expect it before this summer. If the recording quality is anywhere near that of the TuneStudio, I’m getting one. Unfortunately only two prototypes exist at the moment.

Roland CD-2e
I love the idea of recording my gigs on a laptop, but it takes time to set up and there’s always the danger of a crash. Roland’s CD-2e recorder is way easier to use and has virtually zero setup time, recording 16-bit 44.1kHz WAV audio direct to CD via a slot-loader on the side or to an SDHC slot on the other. It’s got a lot built-in, like on-board effects, stereo mic, instrument and line inputs, and stereo speakers, all in a 3-pound package that’s only 2 inches thick. It runs on AC power or 6 AA batteries and costs about $600. The killer app for this is recording live shows and giving out CDs immediately afterwards.

Gibson Robot Guitar
Although it was introduced a little over a month before CES, this was the first time I got to check out Gibson’s Robot Guitar in person, and I freaking love it. Gibson had some dude playing “She Talks To Angels” by the Black Crowes in standard tuning, which is no problem up to a point (those little harmonics don’t sound right in standard tuning). But on the recording, they use open E tuning, which means you’d have to sit there and totally retune your axe. So I watched the guy spin a dial and press a button, which made the tuning pegs turn by themselves… and put the guitar into a pretty well-tuned open E. He replayed the song (correctly this time), and it took me right back to 1990. A limited run went on sale in December for $2499 a pop. Soon retrofit kits will be available so you can convert your existing guitar to use the Robot tuning mechanism.

Synesthesia Mandala
A couple of musician/engineers developed a sturdy drum synth pad that connects to your computer called Mandala and some software that lets you get different sounds from a single pad. You use the software to divvy up the pad into rings (called zones), so you can get up to 128 different sounds on a single pad. The sounds are truly awesome and include just about everything you can think of, or you can make your own. The pad and software goes for about $350, and you can use as many pads as you want. I tried it out, and it’s a lot cooler than I thought it would be, given my experience with Roland’s way more complex V-Drums. This is intended for home recording musicians who don’t have a lot of space but have way too much free time.

Another entry in the no-CD-necessary line of car stereos will be showing up in stores this March. The Parrot RK8200 will blur the line between stereo and hands-free car kit, offering stereo Bluetooth (A2DP/AVRCP), 12-key numeric keypad, and iPod, USB, SD card, and analog inputs.

There’s also a little compartment behind the flip-down faceplate that you can use to stash your phone, iPod, and/or flash drive while you’re tooling around town looking for tight black pants like they wear in Amsterdam. It’s a nice little touch.

It’ll be available in March for about $280. Hit the jump for more specs and photos.

Technical specifications of the Parrot RK8200

Screen

LED – 1 line of 6 numbers
Optimal visibility in every position (Dual-side display)
Displays FM frequency
Pairing: by pin code
Update: via Bluetooth or serial cable

Interface:

2.4-inch TFT screen with 262,144 colors
12-key numeric keypad
8 control buttons + 1 rotary button

Display:

Phone information
Phonebook, caller names and numbers
Playlist, album cover, artist and title

Audio:

4×45W amplifier with 20-bit DAC
Minimal impedance of 4 ohms
Line-out socket for external amplifiers

Tuner:

FM and AM bands (PO and GO), RDS
48 recordable stations (presets)

Digital & analogue connections:
· Specific iPod® and USB connector
· SD card reader
· Analog jack line-in socket at the front
· Analog RCA line-in socket at the back

Telephony:

Automatic phonebook synchronization
Complete call records
Number of contacts: total of 8000
Voice recognition
Text-to-Speech (TTS) voice synthesis of the names in the phonebook

Sound:

Full duplex and echo cancellation
Parrot DCBM noise reduction
Double microphone built into the front panel
Automatic detection of the speaker’s position
Bluetooth stereo (A2DP) compatible
Transmission through the vehicle’s speakers

Bluetooth

Bluetooth v1.2

Profiles supported:

• HSP 1.0 (Headset Profile)
• HFP 0.96 / 1.0 / 1.5 (Hands Free Profile)
• A2DP (Advanced Audio Distribution Profile)
• AVRCP (Audio Video Remote Control Profile)
• OPP (Object Push Profile)
• PBAP (Phone Book Access Profile)
• SYNC

Maximum range: 33 feet (10 meters)
Pairing by PIN code, maximum of 10 devices
Updates via Bluetooth

I thought this was another oversized satellite radio home kit from afar. As I got closer, I figured it was some sort of retro bread crisper. Then when I got even closer, I could have sworn it was a big giant container like you use at the bank to whoosh your cash through those magical tubes (only red instead of gray). Finally, I realized it was some sort of PC with wonderful widgets and knobs and dials.

The Moneual I*magine has an Intel Core2 Duo processor running at 2.0GHz, an ATI 2400 PRO video card with 256MB of memory and 1080p HDMI output, 2-gigabytes or RAM, 500-gigabyte SATA hard drive, 7-inch touch screen, and Windows Vista Home Premium. It can be mounted horizontally or vertically. Yum.

The nice lady at the booth told me that it’ll be ready in March and will cost $1999.

Moneual I*magine [Moneual.com]

I trekked ass from the LVCC to the Hilton to check out Nyko’s line of gaming accessories for the Xbox 360, Wii and PS3. This is what I found.

The first SIX AXIS rumble controllers, Zero Wireless, to hit the market for the PS3. Where you at, Sony?!

Blu-wave IR remote is fun for the Harmony remote hackers. It retails for $20.

Classic Controller Grip retails for $15 and eliminates the dangling nunchuck and makes the classic controller somewhat bearable to use.

Pre-production model of the Guitar Hero 3 Wii axe. I was told the colors will be slightly different.

The Perfect Shot is only $15, but where’s my Duck Hunt?

Wireless Nunchuck rules.

$20 will get you a wireless Wiimote bar.

Charging station and batteries for Xbox 360 controllers.

Retails for $29.99.

Cooling station does not cause the RROD.

HD Link and guitar straps.