Ah, Russia. Home to a well-olied kleptocracy, Andrei Arshavin and, apparently, incredibly wealthy people who don’t know what to do with their money. (See: Roman Abramovich et al.) As such, we really shouldn’t be too surprised to see this new Vertu cellphone on a Russian luxury blog.

As you can see, it, the Vertu Boucheron 150, looks just like that other Vertu luxury phone, but this one supposedly has 3G connectivity. (Our cup runneth over!) It’s also rumored to cost something like $30,000, which is not even a week’s wages for certain footballers.

I don’t know, I’d complain about the unnecessary luxury of this, but the fact is there are people who buy things like this all the time, so good for Vertu for finding its niche. Meanwhile, I’m still buzzing along with a 2006 model piece of junk phone, so there’s that.

via Unwired View

Nokia, the world’s leading mobile phone maker, announced it would stop selling and marketing its handsets in Japan because the market share remained flat over too many years (hovering at around 1% vs. around 38% worldwide).

One of Nokia’s vice presidents said: “In the current global economic climate, we have concluded that the continuation of our investment in Japan-specific product variants is no longer sustainable.” They are right. Now is the right time to pull out of Japan without losing too much face.

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Japan has always been a tough market crack for Nokia, the world’s biggest cell phone manufacturer. While the Finnish company boasts a 40 percent share of global handset sales, this figure has been steady at about 1 percent in Japan.

Now it has come to light that Nokia plans to launch an MVNO with Nippon’s No. 1 cell phone carrier Docomo starting in either February or March next year. Nokia will reportedly try to win in Japan via its Vertu brand of super-expensive phones. The company is planning to sell handsets priced between $16,000 and $50,000.

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In this economy, nothing says “I got bailed out” like a Vertu Constellation covered with diamonds. This beautiful cellphone is perfect for calling up old Lehman CEOs to plan a quick golf game and long hunting trips with AIG execs. Priced at who-the-frak-cares, this phone is the piece d’resistance of douchery.
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I’ve never been more in agreement with Wired than I am at this very moment. "Everything here is a crap gadget with diamonds glued on it," says Rob Beschizza in his post called The Worst Diamond-Encrusted Gadgets Of All Time. I’d go a step further and make the claim that diamonds don’t belong anywhere near gadgets. Let the gadget itself do the talking. If it’s cool, all the diamonds in the world won’t give it an ounce of extra oomph.

There are some real gems here, pardon the pun. The Vertu cell phone, a ridiculous looking Game Boy, an MP3 player for dogs (?), a couple of stupid-looking iPod Shuffles, and more. Great read. Click below for the full article.

The Worst Diamond-Encrusted Gadgets Of All Time [Wired]

This is a bit off-topic, but it has quite a bit to do with electronics and boutique home audio so let’s begin. Luxury items have always been status symbols and, increasingly, commodity products. This nasty mix creates a drive to sell more product at luxury prices, which is good for the companies but not so good for the consumer.

Dana Thomas’ book, Deluxe claws at — but can probably never rip off — the facade of luxury houses. While many of us desire Coach bags and, dare I say it, fancy watches, these items more often than not are avatars of shoddy workmanship and the product of market forces that pull on Wal-mart rather than the House of Chanel.
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I’m glad Nokia made the Vertu line. They deserve to have a little fun. But a $7,000 cellphone is just about the upper limit of what I can accept in the luxury market. Dear Oil-rich Sultans and Oligarchs: send me your old Nokia and I’ll dip it in golden paint and send it back to you for $3,500. You’ll get the same effect while spending half of what you’d normally spend on a similar Vertu and you’ll have some cash left over to rent midgets or whatever it is you people do with your wealth. It’s either that or we eat you, rich people, decide.

Vertu Ascent Ti hitting stores next month [LuxuryLaunches]

Hey! Need a new phone? Don’t want the iPhone but still wanna flaunt your money? Check out the Vertu Constellation, now in a beautiful rose gold color. It’s available in black leather only, because it’s more special than the regular gold-version. Scratch-resistant and chock full o’ laser-engraved keys, this phone will set you back at least $8000, possibly more since it’s a limited-edition coloring.

Vertu Constellation Released In Rose Gold [Sybarites]

Rollin’ in mah Bentley
Cruisin down the street
Got bling on my wrists, ankles
neck and teeth

Got a call on my cellie
Yo let me show you it
This Vertu Ascent T
has gotta be the shit

It’s not out yet
Still with tha FCC
But I got a unit
Cause I got 10,000 Gs
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Some gadgets are good-looking — chances are the look of your cell phone was a major concern when you went shopping.

Then again, some gadgets are ugly. Very, very ugly. We’ve found the ugliest gadgets ever made, so you don’t have to. Some you’ve likely seen before, others you thankfully haven’t. Just believe us: You’ll never take your iPod for granted again.
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Here’s a riddle for you kiddies. What costs more than a Lamborghini, has a bejeweled snake on it, and is designed for those who need compensation in their nether regions? Give up?

It’s the Vertu Cobra! I totally fooled you. The Cobra costs a whopping $310,000 and comes with tons of diamonds, emeralds and an load of rubies.

Don’t forget though, this is a Vertu. Which means it’s not feature-rich, comes with no kind of cool tech stuff, and you’re screwed if you lose it. You’ll be able to find the Cobra in Us Weekly, InTouch, and other tabloids that feature Paris Hilton.

Vertu Cobra $310,000 Cellphone: Features Justify The Price? [Gizmodo]

The fellows with the fancy-pants over at Sybarites got their hands on a Vertu Constellation for review. If you’re just joining us, the Vertu is a luxury line of phones made by the same people who make you Nokia’s phones…Nokia. So how does this phone stack up?

Well, the Nokia S40 UI is similar to other Nokia Symbian OS phones, but is “far superior graphics wise”. The phone has a concierge button that calls Vertu’s Concierge service, kinda like OnStar for your phone. It’s also got Bluetooth, GPRS and EDGE, which makes it fairly recent in terms of features, instead of just an old phone packaged in a pretty shell.

As a bonus, it also has WorldMate software to “keep track of flights, different time-zones and currency rates”, useful for any jet-setter that can afford a Vertu.

Vertu Constellation Exclusive Review [Sybarites]

Vertu Aerius Bluetooth Headset [Sybarites]