Poor Wii owners (I’m one of them). There will be no Modern Warfare 2 for us. In a recent interview, Infinity Ward’s Robert Bowling explained that the Wii’s relatively underpowered innards in comparison to the PC, PS3, and Xbox 360 make it impossible to replicate “the cinematic experience” across all platforms.

Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata said recently that his company would be testing out demo downloads of certain WiiWare titles this month. It’s unclear if this test program will only be for Wii owners in Japan or if those of us here in the U.S. would be able to participate as well.

Heads up FPS fans. S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl is on sale this weekend on Valve’s Steam store for a fiver. That’s quite the discount off the already quite reasonable price of $20.

One of my favorite games of all time, Catan, is now available as a $5 download for the iPhone and iPod touch. As board games go, The Settlers of Catan is a psycho-erotic thriller capable of hooking even the most un-hookable of gamers.

Yes, you can leave work early today. No need to ask your boss, he/she is okay with it.

If you haven’t had your fill of music rhythm games by now or you watched with a furrowed brow as guitar-based game after guitar-based game flooded the market, your giant headphones covering only one of your ears and held in place by your own shoulder just like your favorite DJs, then you’ll want to scrounge up between $100 and $200 for Activision’s DJ Hero, depending on your console and whether or not you want the special “Renegade Edition.”

If you’re into button-mashing melee games a la Super Smash Brothers and whatnot, then perhaps you’d enjoy a change of scenery and fighters with our old friends the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Whoops. Philadelphia-area Gamefly members who have been wondering why in the hell they never got their rented copies of Cooking Mama finally have some answers. The culprit, 34 year old Reginald Johnson of Germantown, PA, stole some 2,200 Gamefly games while working as a mail-processing clerk between April and September of 2008.

If you find the full version of Madden (see review here) to be too expensive, complicated, or both but you still long for the thrill and prestige of legally-licensed NFL players and teams, then you’ll be happy to know that Madden NFL Arcade will be here sometime in December.

Now might be the time to start stocking up on video games for the cold winter months ahead. Amazon is running a “buy two get one free” video game deal from now until this Saturday, October 17, with an eligible selection of almost 500 titles.

Philadelphites (Philadelphanaes? Philadelphonistas? Philadelphonzos?) – Philadelphians! You have your weekend all mapped out for you, assuming you’re a geek.

Much is made over the amount of money businesses lose because of procrastination. You know, the Almighty Dollar and everything. There’s a new Dutch Web site out there, cantyouseeimbusy.com (Can’t You See I’m Busy?—HILARIOUS~!), that provides “work-looking” games that you can play without your boss knowing.

Putt putt fanatics, start saving up for your own in-home virtual miniature golf arcade game – at $6,900 plus $550 for shipping, you could probably build an actual course in your backyard for far cheaper.

Announced back in May, The Biggest Loser is now officially available for the Nintendo Wii and DSi platforms for $40 and $30, respectively, bringing the grand total of fitness games on the market up to seven billion and one.

Developed by THQ, the game mimics the experience of being on The Biggest Loser Ranch just like the TV contestants, except that you get to live in your own house and you can keep eating delicious donuts with reckless abandon — it’ll be our little secret.

Be still my beating heart. The UberNES Nintendo Screen Saver displays a grid of multiple working NES games when your computer is idle. Leave it be, and you’ll see all the various demos running at once. Hit the spacebar and you can actually start playing the games.

Tears of joy, my friends. Tears of joy.

Did you see this? This is Canabalt, a crazy little game that involves a man running and jumping in an 8-bit pixellated world that seems to be falling apart around you.

I’m reminded of Half-Life, Mirror’s Edge, and like some kind of weird Sonic game that doesn’t require you to remove your testes to play.

Monsters under your bed? Yeah, me too. Scary, isn’t it? I hate going to sleep at night! You and I both need one of these six-foot Link statues for protection. Unfortunately, there’s only one for sale on eBay right now. You can have it, I guess. I’ll wait for the next one.

As of yesterday, Wii Fit Plus is available for purchase wherever Wii games are sold. The standalone version of the game retails for $20 while the game and balance board (required) together go for $100. If you bought the first version of Wii Fit with the balance board, you only need to purchase the standalone version of Wii Fit Plus.

As I was perusing my hand-picked collection of websites that may or may not contain wonderful gadgets to write about – a ritual I perform Monday through Friday after breakfast and before my 10AM “good, healthy cry” – I came across this game on Hammacher Schlemmer’s site: Skittle Pool. What in the hell is Skittle Pool?