Israeli scientists have developed software that turns your ugly mug into a mathematically beautiful visage. Yes, we have evolved a great deal, us humans.

What the software (a Photoshop plugin) does is alters a face to make it “look” more attractive, based on mathematics and “perceived” attractiveness. If you’ve watched any of those TLC or Discovery Channel documentaries about human behavior, you’ll know that things like distance between someone’s eyes, shape of someone’s nose, etc. all affect a person’s level of attractiveness. A woman whose eyes are too far apart—and we’re talking micrometers here—might as well wear a paper bag over her head.

Yes, this raises some ethical concerns. Will people use this software to “improve” their looks with plastic surgery? Will this make people think they’re ugly? Will Sarah Jessica still look like a horse?

One of the silliest stories I’ve heard in a while.

via The Insider

Oh boy, some non-Android news for you. My guess is that it’ll be wall-to-wall Android in a few hours, so smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. That is to say, if you have no interest in Android—impossible!—may I suggest you break out the stamp collection, maybe watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for the 900th time?

Anyhow, the next version of Adobe Photoshop, CS4, which comes out in October, will use your GPU to improve the whole experience. Expect smoother zooming, rotating, scaling, etc.

I wonder what sort of wacky activation schemes Adobe has developed in order to prevent piracy? Because you know the entire Creative Suite will be leaked and cracked like two days before it hits retail.

Photoshop CS4 carries a $199 upgrade price, or $699 for the non-CS4 Extended version. Prices for the entire Creative Suite top out at $2,500.

I’ve included the full press release on the other side, if that’s your thing.

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The Premise: A young man reaches out to an online forum for help, asking people to retouch an old photo that he wants to make into a birthday present for his father.

The Result: A few people retouch the photo for him, though not at all as he planned. Hilarity ensues. A word of caution that at least one of the photos is NSFW.

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“It’s like two sea lions trying to get out of a net.” Gross. Maybe they sampled Biggs. He’s about as big as a sea lion. Happy Friday!

Wherein the guy who talks like a Real Video file circa 1998 shows us how to import video, remove frames, and make it look like you were never at the scene of a crime.

Never mind the timestamp.

You Suck At Photoshop

When you look at this JCrew product page, does anything stand out as peculiar?

If you’re thinking “Holy crap! Lounge crinkle tissue pants for only $39.99, what a steal!”, take another look. More specifically, check out the product sample images. Roll over the first two a couple times.

Yep. Likely as a result of a simple naming convention error during saving, two versions of the same product shot were uploaded: one before photoshop, and one after. After seeing the original version, the photoshopped version looks completely broken.

Gone are the days of using well concealed pins to better form clothes to mannequins – all hail the clonebrush!

Someone’s a little bitter. How is this series going to end? I’m pretty sure Donnie is going to off himself. What do you think?

Ronnie, not Donnie, has gone amok! This is, in all honesty, one of my favorite Web shows. I’m so happy that Donnie is back.

Welcome back, Donnie! We’ve all missed you.

The next version of Adobe Photoshop, which may not be called CS4, and may not come out in October, will indeed have a new user interface, at least on the Mac version. The big change is this element called the application frame, as seen in the above screenshot.

Reaction to the new UI element has been mixed, including early protestations by an Adobe gentleman, who has since been won over by the new design.

But for all of this, know that the new UI element is completely optional. If you don’t wanna use it, then don’t. Problem solved!

The reason behind the new UI element, Adobe says, is to achieve consistency between its different products. An enviable goal, yes, but one that should have been properly explained before the peanut gallery went into full-on freak out mode.

What happened to Donnie?!

Kids looking to “make it” as a graphic designer (good luck!) may want to consider heading down to Orlando next month for the Photoshop World Conference. It’s a gathering of Photoshop’s best and brightest, as well as those who employ them. So, you go down there, futz around for a bit, exchange e-mail addresses and hope that one day one of those folks offer you a job. Sounds like CES and SXSW.

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Just watch it, artard. Teletubbies?

I, too, wish I were a semi-professional go-kart racer sans restrictive unitards, though. Heh.

Previous episodes can be found here.

I find it extremely ironic that the Fonz makes an appearance in this installment of the YSAP. Why? Well, after episode 6 a few people muttered something about it having jumped the shark. I personally think it’s still funny. How Donnie ends this episode is proof that it hasn’t jumped the shark. I’m still laughing. What do you guys think?

Donnie really has a crappy life and I feel bad for him. When you can’t take a dump it’s really uncomfortable. Poor bastard.

If you feel like getting a legal copy of Photoshop CS3, it’ll run you North of $650 normally. But those miserly geniuses over at Photography Bay have figured that you can get it for half that if you’re careful. It seems you can upgrade Photoshop Elements to CS3 for $300 directly from Adobe, and if you don’t have Elements, you can get it for $37 at Amazon. Total cost: $337 plus shipping, call it $350, a full three bills under retail for CS3. Hell of a deal.

Adobe Purchase Page [via Photography Bay]