Newegg has the most ridiculous names for its sales. For example, today we have SHELL SHOCKER, written in some aggressive-looking font, along with a picture of a broken shell, to drive home the theme. As for the deal itself, I spy Adobe Photoshop Elements for $49, a full 44 percent off the regular price.

That leads me to wonder: what are the piracy rates for Photoshop? I don’t know if I’ve seen a computer in the last five years without Photoshop installed, and I can guarantee that Random College Student or Friend of a Friend didn’t shell out the hundreds of dollars necessary to buy the application.

And to quote the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Whoa, shell shocked!

Heads up, freaks. There’s a trojan inside a certain Adobe Photoshop CS4 for Mac crack generator that’s spreading around. (Type “photoshop cs4 mac crack” in The PirateBay for the offending file.) It’s a variant of a trojan that was first discovered last week, so that means this trojan is getting around.

The trojan is called “OSX.Trojan.iServices.B Trojan Horse” and gets into your system after you give permission to it while launching the crack, as this screenshot shows. (Why in God’s name would you need to give a simple crack generator your account info is beyond me.)

Intego, which makes Mac anti-virus software, says its latest definitions can protect against the trojan.

The moral of the story is, obviously, don’t be daft when pirating—I won’t pretend that more than a few of you do, indeed, pirate—software. There’s an argument to make about, maybe Adobe shouldn’t have to charge a zillion dollars for Photoshop, but that’s for another day.

Israeli scientists have developed software that turns your ugly mug into a mathematically beautiful visage. Yes, we have evolved a great deal, us humans.

What the software (a Photoshop plugin) does is alters a face to make it “look” more attractive, based on mathematics and “perceived” attractiveness. If you’ve watched any of those TLC or Discovery Channel documentaries about human behavior, you’ll know that things like distance between someone’s eyes, shape of someone’s nose, etc. all affect a person’s level of attractiveness. A woman whose eyes are too far apart—and we’re talking micrometers here—might as well wear a paper bag over her head.

Yes, this raises some ethical concerns. Will people use this software to “improve” their looks with plastic surgery? Will this make people think they’re ugly? Will Sarah Jessica still look like a horse?

One of the silliest stories I’ve heard in a while.

via The Insider

Oh boy, some non-Android news for you. My guess is that it’ll be wall-to-wall Android in a few hours, so smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. That is to say, if you have no interest in Android—impossible!—may I suggest you break out the stamp collection, maybe watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for the 900th time?

Anyhow, the next version of Adobe Photoshop, CS4, which comes out in October, will use your GPU to improve the whole experience. Expect smoother zooming, rotating, scaling, etc.

I wonder what sort of wacky activation schemes Adobe has developed in order to prevent piracy? Because you know the entire Creative Suite will be leaked and cracked like two days before it hits retail.

Photoshop CS4 carries a $199 upgrade price, or $699 for the non-CS4 Extended version. Prices for the entire Creative Suite top out at $2,500.

I’ve included the full press release on the other side, if that’s your thing.

And Adobe did say:

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Sept. 23, 2008 — Adobe Systems Incorporated (Nasdaq:ADBE) today announced the Adobe® Creative Suite® 4 product family, a milestone release of the industry-leading design and development software for virtually every creative workflow. Delivering radical workflow breakthroughs that bring down the walls between designers and developers — and packed with hundreds of feature innovations—the new Creative Suite 4 product line advances the creative process across print, Web, mobile, interactive, film and video production. With new levels of integration and expressiveness for Flash technology across the entire product line, Adobe’s biggest software release to date includes Adobe Creative Suite 4 Design editions, Creative Suite 4 Web editions, Creative Suite 4 Production Premium, Creative Suite 4 Master Collection, as well as 13 point products, 14 integrated technologies and seven services.

Adobe Creative Suite Master Collection CS4 combines virtually all of Adobe’s new design and development applications, technologies and services in a single box — the most comprehensive creative environment ever delivered.

“Designers and developers are shaping the way that people consume information, share ideas, sell products, tell stories and create memorable experiences — in print, online and via mobile handsets,” said Shantanu Narayen, president and chief executive officer at Adobe. “Whether you’re creating a rich Internet application, a video or a best-selling magazine, Adobe Creative Suite 4 delivers powerful cross-media technologies that have the ability to elevate products, brands and ideas above the clutter.”

Broad Integration and Efficiency Improve Creative Workflow
Adobe Creative Suite 4 offers unprecedented choice among editions and stand-alone products, with comprehensive support for the most cutting-edge workflows for virtually any design discipline. Customers can choose from six suites or full version upgrades of 13 stand-alone applications, including Photoshop® CS4, Photoshop CS4 Extended, InDesign® CS4 (see separate releases), Illustrator® CS4, Flash® CS4 Professional, Dreamweaver® CS4, After Effects® CS4, and Adobe Premiere® Pro CS4.

A simplified workflow in Adobe Creative Suite 4 enables users to design across media more efficiently by making it easier to complete common tasks and switch between mediums without leaving a project. InDesign CS4 includes a new Live Preflight tool that allows designers to catch production errors and a newly customizable Links panel to place files more efficiently. The revolutionary new Content-Aware Scaling tool in Photoshop CS4 and Photoshop CS4 Extended automatically recomposes an image as it is resized, preserving vital areas as it adapts to new dimensions. An expanded version of Dynamic Link in CS4 Production Premium enables users to move content between After Effects CS4, Adobe Premiere Pro CS4, Soundbooth® CS4, and Encore® CS4, so updates can be seen instantly without rendering. Designers using the Adobe Creative Suite 4 product family will be able to gain unprecedented creative control using the new expressive features and visual performance improvements in Adobe Flash Player 10 to deliver breakthrough Web experiences across multiple browsers and operating systems.

Adobe Creative Suite 4 brings 3D center-stage providing the ability to paint, composite, and animate 3D models using familiar tools. Flash CS4 Professional now offers the ability to apply tweens to objects instead of keyframes, providing greater control over animation attributes. Also in Flash, the new Bones tool helps create more realistic animations between linked objects. With a searchable library of more than 450 dynamically updated device profiles from leading manufacturers, Adobe Device Central CS4 (see separate release) enables users to easily test mobile content designed using many of the Creative Suite 4 products.

Adobe Creative Suite 4 significantly expands access to services* available to creative professionals and developers who want to collaborate online. Adobe ConnectNow, a service of Acrobat.com, can be accessed from InDesign CS4, Illustrator CS4, Photoshop CS4 and Photoshop Extended CS4, Flash CS4 Professional, Dreamweaver CS4, Fireworks® CS4, and Acrobat® 9 Pro, allowing real-time collaboration with two colleagues or clients. Designers can also share color harmonies with Adobe Kuler™, which is now accessible from within InDesign CS4, Illustrator CS4, Photoshop CS4 and Photoshop Extended CS4, Flash CS4 and Fireworks CS4. Other online resources include: Adobe Community Help for technical questions; Resource Central for accessing video and audio product-related news and tutorials, as well as Soundbooth scores, sound effects, and other stock media; and Adobe Bridge Home, a customizable resource for tips, tutorials, news and inspirational content.

Pricing and Availability
Adobe Creative Suite 4 and its associated point products are scheduled to ship in October 2008 with availability through Adobe Authorized Resellers and the Adobe Store at www.adobe.com/go/gn_store.

Estimated street price for the Adobe Creative Suite 4 Design Premium will be US$1799, US$1699 for Adobe Creative Suite 4 Web Premium, US$1699 for Adobe Creative Suite 4 Production Premium, and US$2499 for Adobe Creative Suite 4 Master Collection.

Adobe plans to offer tiered upgrade pricing from previous versions. For a limited time, validly licensed customers of eligible versions of Adobe Creative Suite, Adobe Production Studio and Macromedia Studio will be able to upgrade to Creative Suite 4 for the CS3 upgrade price.

For more detailed information about features, upgrade policies, pricing, and international versions please visit: www.adobe.com/creativesuite.

Adobe Flash Player 10 is currently available in beta as a free download from Adobe Labs at www.adobe.com/go/astro with general availability expected by the end of the year. Adoption of the previous update to Adobe Flash Player 9 set all-time records by achieving over 80 percent reach on Internet enabled desktops in less than six months and Flash Player 10 is expected to achieve a similar adoption rate.

About Adobe Systems Incorporated
Adobe revolutionizes how the world engages with ideas and information – anytime, anywhere and through any medium. For more information, visit www.adobe.com

The Premise: A young man reaches out to an online forum for help, asking people to retouch an old photo that he wants to make into a birthday present for his father.

The Result: A few people retouch the photo for him, though not at all as he planned. Hilarity ensues. A word of caution that at least one of the photos is NSFW.

Click to see the full version [via Slashdot]

“It’s like two sea lions trying to get out of a net.” Gross. Maybe they sampled Biggs. He’s about as big as a sea lion. Happy Friday!

Wherein the guy who talks like a Real Video file circa 1998 shows us how to import video, remove frames, and make it look like you were never at the scene of a crime.

Never mind the timestamp.

You Suck At Photoshop

When you look at this JCrew product page, does anything stand out as peculiar?

If you’re thinking “Holy crap! Lounge crinkle tissue pants for only $39.99, what a steal!”, take another look. More specifically, check out the product sample images. Roll over the first two a couple times.

Yep. Likely as a result of a simple naming convention error during saving, two versions of the same product shot were uploaded: one before photoshop, and one after. After seeing the original version, the photoshopped version looks completely broken.

Gone are the days of using well concealed pins to better form clothes to mannequins – all hail the clonebrush!

Someone’s a little bitter. How is this series going to end? I’m pretty sure Donnie is going to off himself. What do you think?

Ronnie, not Donnie, has gone amok! This is, in all honesty, one of my favorite Web shows. I’m so happy that Donnie is back.

Welcome back, Donnie! We’ve all missed you.

The next version of Adobe Photoshop, which may not be called CS4, and may not come out in October, will indeed have a new user interface, at least on the Mac version. The big change is this element called the application frame, as seen in the above screenshot.

Reaction to the new UI element has been mixed, including early protestations by an Adobe gentleman, who has since been won over by the new design.

But for all of this, know that the new UI element is completely optional. If you don’t wanna use it, then don’t. Problem solved!

The reason behind the new UI element, Adobe says, is to achieve consistency between its different products. An enviable goal, yes, but one that should have been properly explained before the peanut gallery went into full-on freak out mode.

What happened to Donnie?!

Kids looking to “make it” as a graphic designer (good luck!) may want to consider heading down to Orlando next month for the Photoshop World Conference. It’s a gathering of Photoshop’s best and brightest, as well as those who employ them. So, you go down there, futz around for a bit, exchange e-mail addresses and hope that one day one of those folks offer you a job. Sounds like CES and SXSW.

Students should pay particular attention to a couple of deals currently on tap for the show. Show a proper student ID (here’s mine! feel free to pirate it in order to get in) and you can get into the three-day conference for $150; regular price is $700, so you’re totally saving a couple of dollars.

You can also download, for free, a pass to the Tech Expo part of the show, which is a little more general in its goals. Companies like Canon and Microsoft will be there telling you all about the next generation of things… coming soon!

Photoshop world runs from April 2-4 and the Tech Expo goes from April 3-4.

Photoshop World

Just watch it, artard. Teletubbies?

I, too, wish I were a semi-professional go-kart racer sans restrictive unitards, though. Heh.

Previous episodes can be found here.

I find it extremely ironic that the Fonz makes an appearance in this installment of the YSAP. Why? Well, after episode 6 a few people muttered something about it having jumped the shark. I personally think it’s still funny. How Donnie ends this episode is proof that it hasn’t jumped the shark. I’m still laughing. What do you guys think?

Donnie really has a crappy life and I feel bad for him. When you can’t take a dump it’s really uncomfortable. Poor bastard.

Adobe Purchase Page [via Photography Bay]