Meet AIDA, the Affective Intelligent Driving Assistant. This is a prototype robot that utilizes sensors inside and outside the car to create “a platform comprising of a personal robot and an intelligent navigation system that aims to bring an innovative driving experience.” I don’t own an automobile, so practically every driving experience is innovative to me right now! Rather than traditional destination-oriented GPS navigation, AIDA posits “a navigation system that mimics the friendly expertise of a driving companion who is familiar with both the driver and the city.” Hopefully AIDA won’t complain about my driving the way all my friends do. Video and more inside!

It’s not enough that they make ramen, juggle, and play catch — now robot arms need to play with their food? This robot arm on the right is teasing the one on the left. Want a Fanta? You can’t have one! Your feeble manipulator navigates this six-pack in vain.

I wanted to tell you guys to watch this without seeing the description, but it’s difficult to do so. Better find someone nearby, tell them to close their eyes, and then open them when they think they’ve got it figured out. This piano-based voice synthesizer breaks down the morphemes of normal speech into components which can be built up using piano keys. Sounds crazy in theory of course, but actually seeing the keys playing themselves and a voice coming out of it makes me think the end times are coming.

Way back in March I wrote about the HRP-4C robot that walks and talks. At CEATEC today I saw this thing in person. And now it sings! Watch the video!

And here I thought that these drones were born to kill. In fact, they’re being put to good use, and such as the ones they’ve got cruising in the ocean, or these, which they’ve deployed to help combat wildfires. The drones can go into dangerously smoky areas and use IR cameras to point out hot spots for firefighters — man and machine working alongside one another like brothers. Heartwarming!

My mind, of course, immediately jumps to the fact that those “hot spots” could just as easily be warm, fleeing humans after the Robocalypse, but for the moment that’s not a danger. For the moment.

I’m beginning to think the Robocalypse is going to be less Terminator and more Dinobot. I mean, we’ve robotic fish, dog-monsters, and hummingbots already, and that’s just off the top of my head. And if it isn’t based on an animal, it’s named after one. The BEAR robot, in contrast, isn’t actually bearlike, but is just a handy acronym for the Battlefield Extraction-Assist Robot.

Looks like the Robocalypse is going to have to wait on battery technology. The Hummingbot/Hunter-seeker we saw last month has improved somewhat, and is now capable of more than falling while flapping its wings. It can, in fact, hover in a controlled fashion for up to 20 seconds. If you’re quick, that’s enough time to get it through the ducts and assassinate the Kwisatz Haderach, but I’d wait until they can get it up to a full minute.

You know how it is: you go down to your secret lair to work on the prototype for your armada of deathbots, and you get paralyzed by the sheer enormity of the project you’ve undertaken. Not only do you need to find the raw materials, you need to design the bodies and weapons systems, build in failsafes so they don’t attack you, and basically write a complete operating system from scratch. That’s a lot of work for a busy tyrant-to-be, and frankly such details distract from the big picture of global domination.

Thankfully, there’s a crew of people working to standardize and abstract robot operating systems to reduce the time-to-market for your electronic henchmen.

In a development being hailed as “the greatest single step forward ever taken by civilization,” Japan has made a pair of wise-cracking robot arms that make and deploy up to 800 perfect bowls of ramen per day. Yes, we saw one like this back in July, but this is a whole other level. It’s like Wall-E vs. the talking toaster from Red Dwarf (admittedly, a solid robot). These truly awesome robo-arms boil the noodles, add flavoring and broth, then top it off with accoutrements like seaweed bits or pork.

If this is what we have to look forward to after they take over, I… I no longer fear the Robocalypse.

This dainty-hoofed droid has the gait of an octogenarian jogger, the face of Asimo, and the recovery ability of BigDog. Yeah, that’s not a scary combination.

Check out the video.

Those of you who follow the Robocalypse tag know that I find the rise of machine-based warfare and biomimetic freakery… troubling. Well, it just got a lot more so. Not content to have robots simply feed on widely available sunlight, or use an versatile diesel engine or something, some robo-pioneers have decided that this new robot should refuel on biomass.

Yes, it can use plants and compost and stuff like that, but let’s be honest. You’re deploying these on a battlefield. These sons of bitches are going to be eating bodies all day long. And you think it’ll stop there?

“Biomimetic miniature flying platforms” appears to be the theme this week. Just a few days ago we saw a hummingbird robot meant to hover in and out of buildings, and now there’s this ro-bat being put together at North Carolina State University.

Here is my question: were there not enough bats in the world already?

I’m concerned that before long, every critter out there will be replaced by a biomimetic robot surrogate. With BigDog, LittleDog, mechafish, swifferbot, and the robo-ant already on the march, it won’t be long before the pleasant tweet and buzz of nature is replaced by the noise of servos and tiny guns.

The latest fiend to come out of DARPA human-extinction research money is this Nano Air Vehicle, which flies like a hummingbird, at least for the few seconds it’s managing to stay up at this stage of research.

Oh god oh god! Household monsters are becoming real! This biomimetic slugbot is meant to pick up dust around the house, but it reminds me more of low-level enemies in NES games than any of its robot helper contemporaries. The Fukitorimushi (”wipe-up bug”) is an autonomous robot like a Roomba, but it moves in a freaky inchworm style. The funny thing is, it would be creepy enough without the microfiber cloth wrapped around it, but with it the thing is absolutely terrifying.

Most deep-underwater devices are round and inoffensive; why does this one need to be so sinister? In fact, it’s reminiscent of a certain other robot which occupies an antagonistic relationship with mankind. Not sure what I’m talking about? Here’s a hint: “woah.”

Not terrifying at all! And of course, it’s flown with a modified Xbox 360 controller. How do they expect to get headshots with that? Mouse and keyboard, baby. But I digress. This robocalyptic aerial hunter-killer is 26ft long, goes 117mph, and can carry a payload of 150lb. That means it can carry a sniper rifle and a hugbot.

I’m kind of glad this cool robo-ant can’t walk very well, because it does everything else with chilling accuracy. Unlike real insects, it isn’t size-limited by its materials and structural makeup, so you could have a king-sized one bite the roof off your house by next week if someone took initiative.

This fun little video demonstrates how to become an evil, bitter human being and take it out on the world. An interesting alternative to the Terminator-style robocalypse, and possibly worse, since you can’t shoot nanobots. They’d just eat the bullets.