If you want to be aware of the huge avalanche of Apple news that hit today but don’t want to read through the dozen or so posts we had on it, just sit back, relax, and let it all unfold in real time. Listen closely when they announce the compass, you might be able to hear the cry of orgasmic pleasure emitted by a particularly excitable Apple fan. Kind of weird. I’m not judging, just… well, yeah, I’m judging him. Come on.

Anyway, Here’s the site and here’s the stream.

So we got the big reveal: a new iPhone, some hidden tricks in Snow Leopard and the iPhone OS, a lot of rumor run-up and, most importantly, a Jobs-less keynote. In the end we saw another incremental keynote, a session of chest-beating (Palm’s “18 Pre apps in its app store” slide got quite a chuckle and I heard a man audibly orgasm when he heard about the compass app) and announcements that rehashed what we already know and confirmed rumors.

The takeaway here is that the old Apple way of doing business is unchanged under the current regime although, as evidenced by a few extemporaneous remarks by the presenters and some technical failure, Jobs’ absence made everyone let down their guard a little. Again, these guys were preaching to the converted. Everyone in the room clapped to almost everything, something you rarely hear at other events of this nature. They goofed a little during a few presentations and goofed off a little between slides, but on the whole it was a well-oiled machine.
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Go over and watch it, if you are so inclined. No pressure. I know this has been a long day. Also, the new commercial appears after the jump. If you’re not doing anything else this evening give it a look. Otherwise it will be here when you wake.

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Apple’s Snow Leopard update for OS X is a major update, despite the fact that it doesn’t tout “300 new features” like the last one. For $29, there’s no reason to expect anything but bugfixes, but in fact this is probably the most important OS X update for years. While Leopard essentially completed the OS, which was in need of completing since it was introduced, Snow Leopard pushes it into the future.

The technologies being introduced in Snow Leopard are for making your mac leaner, faster, and more capable of pretty much everything you already do. So let’s just recap what exactly these very abstract-sounding features are in case you need to explain it to a clueless friend or family member.
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Here is our WWDC recap in living HTML.
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Woohoo! I should probably take my borked iPhone 3G into the Apple store before June 17th so I can get my free upgrade to 3.0. The OS upgrade will be free for iPhone and iPhone 3G owners. As always, Touch owners will have to pony up $10.

We’ve known about 3.0 for some time and today Apple revealed a few more nuggets to get you excited about the upcoming OS upgrade on the iPhone.
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Apple just introduced a revised 13-inch MacBook at WWDC that now joins the Pro line of notebooks. It starts at $1199 and comes with a built-in battery with seven hours of juice, an SD card slot, up to 8GB of RAM, a backlit keyboard and FireWire 800.
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<sarcasm>*gasp* The Apple Store is down before today’s WWDC keynote!!!!!!! Must…have…new…iPhone. </sarcasm>